


A Year's Gap

by lifeandlemons



Category: Liam Payne / Zayn Malik, Louis Tomlinson / Harry Styles, Louis/Liam - Fandom, Niall Horan / Josh Devine, One Direction (Band), Zayn/Harry - Fandom
Genre: Comedy, Drama, Harm, Hurt, M/M, Romance, Self-violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-12-10
Updated: 2012-12-12
Packaged: 2017-11-20 19:34:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 25,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/588898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lifeandlemons/pseuds/lifeandlemons
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Liam surfaces memories he hopes to forget. Louis is desperate to find his missing link. Zayn and Harry are in town.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

Louis swats a newspaper on Liam’s hand, making his bowl of cereal fall to the floor. “What the-“ Liam looks at his flatmate but instead finds a page of the newspaper in front of him. “LOOK.”

“You disturbed my meal.”

“LOOK, LIAM.” Liam rolls his eyes and looks at the column. He finds the words “HARRY STYLES IN LONDON” in big, bold letters. Liam rolls his eyes because he doesn’t care if that singer is in their city, it’s only his flatmate who does, and it’s all his flatmate ever talks about.

But someone pops in his mind the second after the words “Harry Styles” sink in. If Harry Styles is in London that means Harry’s best friend is too. But Liam mentally slaps himself because he knows that he has forgotten about him and he’s got a life now. He’s living it up, making billions of money and records and albums. Liam knows it’s over- that they’re over- but he wonders why there is a voice at the back of his mind telling him to give himself one more shot. Afterall, he was the one who left him- feeling-wise, meaning “stopped loving him”- and not the other way around. Liam was the one who gave up because he thought it was for the best. There had been no communication at all between them and Liam was satisfied. He wasn’t happy but was satisfied.

“And?”

“We are stalking-“

“No.”

“YOU DIDN’T LET ME FINISH.” Louis sits on the table where Liam’s bowl of cereal has been but is forgotten on the floor and clutches on the newspaper like his life depends on it.

“I know what you’ll be saying. Hey Liam! Let’s go stalk Harry Styles! I’ve loved him since I was a freaking fetus.” Liam looks at his flatmate with an expression that Louis chose to ignore.

“That’s not true! I was about to say that we’ll be stalking his bouncer!”

“Nice try, beautiful.”

“Thank you for the compliment. Fine, fine. I really want to see Styles.”

“You mean fuck him, right?”

“I think he and I should have dinner first before that.”

“You mean kiss him first.”

“PAYNE.”

“What? I know what rolls inside that dirty mind of yours, you slut. Not gonna work on me.”

“BUT-“

“Speaking of work, we have to get ready.”

“TELL PAUL, I’M SICK. I really want to see Styles!” And Liam wants to see someone else as well. A secret he’s been keeping but Louis doesn’t know this or else they’d both flip. It’ll drive Louis mad and persistent and it will surface Liam’s memories about them and he’d be hurt all over again. “You can fuck him tomorrow.” But Liam has decided.

“PAUL? EEW.”

“I MEANT, STYLES. Geez, Louis.” Liam bends to pick up the bowl and hands it to Louis. He dives in for the kill because he’s tired of burying his emotions- the longing because of the distance and the hate because he forced himself to.

“Are we going to look for Harry tomorrow?” Louis’s eyes light up and crumples the newspaper at hand. Liam knows how this would mean the world to Louis and this would do him a great favor to shut Louis up about whining to meet the star. He would also do himself a great favor to clear up the mess.

“You wash this and I’ll mop the floor.” Liam stands up but Louis reaches to hug him on the waist with the bowl still at hand.

“WILL WE REALLY LOOK FOR HIM?” Louis’s eyes are brighter than ever and it makes Liam happy. He sighs and nods. 

“WHOOOOOO!” Louis raises his arms and pushes himself off the table to jump-hug Liam. They both hear the bowl shatter on the floor and the moment stops to look at the poor object. Liam sighs and looks at his dear friend.

“On second thought, you’re cleaning everything.” Because Liam has to prepare for a bigger mess. Something that he is afraid he’ll regret.

***

Louis can’t wait to finish work so he could look for newsfeeds on Harry Styles’s whereabouts. “I think he’s roaming around.” Louis leans on the counter as Liam gives the change to a customer. “Your meal will be served in a while.” Liam smiles at his customer but turns to frown at Louis. “No, Louis. He’s probably in his hotel room wondering where you are.” Liam turns back to the counter that separates him from the kitchen and rings the bell He hands a duplicate receipt to Stan, their cook. “Table 15. He wants the steak medium-rare.” Liam tells him before facing Louis.

“REALLY?” Louis beams at him.

 

“In your dreams, yeah.” Louis groans and rolls his eyes. “You’re such a great friend, Payne.”

“Always am, precious. Now get back to work before I ask Paul for overtime.”

“YOU WOULDN’T DARE.”

“Shush!” And that definitely made Louis shut up and head to his station. Louis and Liam have been working in this semi-fast-food restaurant “Country Styles” at a 5-star hotel called “The London Grand Hotel” for three years, specifically after Liam’s break up with him. The name of the hotel makes Louis’s eyes rolls everytime he hears the words, or even says it at least, because he doesn’t find the name “classy” enough but it makes him all giddy inside because he believes that Harry Styles actually owns the freaking restaurant and that someday Harry would visit him then the scenarios go on and on.

Louis stands on one corner of the room, if ever one of their customers need “attention”, as he would call it, so he wouldn’t have a hard time running to the customer/s . Louis should have gone the day off searching in Google for Harry’s whereabouts, at home calling every agency in the city to beg- or bribe them even- to find out information, or he could be around the city in his car to look for the star. He shouldn’t be working his ass off today. He looks at Liam hoping that his friend would get the message to leave right away. Liam just sticks his tongue out and he definitely got the message. He looks at the clock like it holds the location of Harry but makes him more upset because his shift ends in three hours.

The door opens but Louis sighs because it’s not Harry who’s at the door and it makes Liam jolt, dropping the coins he just collected from a drawer, because he’s relieved that it’s not him he sees. Louis greets the customer “Good Afternoon” before looking at his friend who has gone to pick up the coins behind the counter. Liam leaves a few coins on the ground, promising to pick them up later, so he could attend to the customer.

It’s definitely not him and he silently thanks God. “Good afternoon, sir. How may I help you?” Liam says as he drops the coins in the cash register and closes it just in time to take down the order.

“Hey. Uhm yeah, I’ll take each one of your best sellers. The baggage boy will pick it up, his name’s Josh Devine. Put it in my tab: Haynz Stalik.” 

The last syllable makes Liam jerk because it is so close to his last name. He doesn’t want to feel like the customer’s name is just a code or a pseudonym, an obvious one. He doesn’t want to believe that this is the father because surely the old man would hug Liam the moment he recognizes him. And it’s always been like that, he’s seen the old man a few times on the streets and the man would surprise him, tap his shoulder, or walk to his side to give him a warm hug. He won’t believe it. “Yes, sir.” Louis gives a nod and a “good-bye” at the man before storming to Liam.

“His name. You think he’s related to Harry? Because the name, pseudonym, or whatever is so fucking obvious. I really think-“

“Don’t even think about it. Of course it’s not.”

“But what if that curly devil is staying in this fucking hotel?”

“Then the press would find out before the ‘put in my tab’ incident happened.”

“You’re right.”

“And we would have met them as they entered the hotel or, better yet, Paul would have informed us to be in our best behavior or else he’d fire us.” 

“Too fucking true. And I haven’t heard of ‘Josh Devine’ before either.” But that’s not enough to calm Liam’s nerves down because he’s got that gut-aching feeling that he is here in the hotel. And Liam’s nerves are never wrong. He’s gone on complete secret panic mode and turns to Stan to relax himself a little. “Stan, Mr. Stalik wants our best sellers.” Stan whistles an approval and settles the other customer’s order on the kitchen counter. Liam gets the plate and tells Louis to serve the order but it does no good to calm his tits down and that doesn’t stop Louis from pressing into the mystery.

“I really think that he’s the guy.”

“Well, he’s not the guy.”

“My Harry-magnet is screaming ‘I’m here’, Liam.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be in your post?”

“The clock’s ticking to the night life and we both know these are the dull hours.”

“It’s a hotel.”

“The place where Harry Styles is.”

“The place of our work, that may soon not be anymore because you aren’t doing your job.”

“My Harry-magnet is still screaming. And it’s not ‘I’m here’ , it’s ‘fuck me, Louis, because I’m here’.”

“What’s the difference?”

“It means I can sense his hair curling at a rapid pace.” 

Liam rolls his eyes at his friend but he is heading to the direction of Table 15 with the medium-rare steak. Liam bends down to pick up the rest of the coins still wondering who the last customer was.

***

“Nothing.”

“Nothing?”

“Nothing.”

Silence greets them for a few seconds until Liam can’t let the answer sink in. He asks one more time.

“Nothing?”

“Have you gone deaf, Payne?”

“Sorry.”

“So yeah, the paps don’t know his location, where he’s staying, and what he’s doing here. He’s like a freaking Ninja Fruit or   
something on hiatus.”

“Fruit Ninja, Louis.”

“Whatever. I’m still upset.” Louis dragged Liam home after their shift leaving Paul confused to why they were such in a rush. The guy, Josh Devine, arrived in the restaurant just before closing time and it pissed Louis off thus having more reason to rush home and leave Stan do all the cleaning. 

Louis slouches on the couch, feet up on Liam’s lap, and his phone on the rug. They greet silence but Liam’s head is noisy about the other guy- Zayn Malik- and where and what he’s doing. And the look Josh just gave Liam a while ago at the restaurant is a huge give away of the suspicious “name”, the way Josh stopped his track when he faced Liam, and the way Josh couldn’t take his eyes off him- throw in the fact that Josh narrowed his eyes at him. Liam shakes the memory away and looks at Louis like his soul’s being sucked out by a dementor.

“Just cling on to the hope that he’s in the hotel.”

 

“Tell me that in a more convincing way, I might ditch you on Monday.”

“We’ll be finding out tomorrow anyway.”

“Where do we start?” Louis sighs, clearly depicting his loss of hope in ever finding the young star.

“Where does your Harry-magnet point you to?” Liam says trying to lighten his mood but Louis sighs and just sinks in to the heartbreak. “I don’t know. He’s gone off to some club with a mustache as a disguise. Probably making out with Zayn because they’re madly in love and it’s been all over the press.” Of course, Liam thought. And it makes his heart sink even more. The image of him, Zayn, dancing with another person, kissing him, making him breakfast in bed, and the image of them together makes him sick and miserable.

But Liam knows that this is just for show because Zayn promised him that he would wait. That Zayn hasn’t given up on them. But why hasn’t he contacted Liam? Why hasn’t Liam contacted him either? Is it over? Liam doesn’t know. The break-up hasn’t been formal because they’ve grown apart and Management pulled Zayn away. No contact since. They’ve fought three days before Zayn was pulled away and Liam knows that it’s ended but Zayn’s words, his words made him believe that they’re not over. “I’m waiting for you.” And that was it.

“You’re so far away, Liam.” Louis looks at his best friend and pokes his friend’s arm with his feet, bringing Liam out of his reverie.

“Just thinking.”

And Louis knows that he is, that Liam is thinking about someone but he’s not sure who. But he is sure that this person- whoever Liam’s thinking about- made him miserable, made him sad and lonely. Louis promised himself that he would skin the person alive (he’s just probably going to swear at the person) if ever he found out who it is. If only Liam would tell him, but he doesn’t. He doesn’t talk about it and Louis doesn’t bring it up because that’s what “private space” is. And they’re both satisfied with it. But Louis is stubborn and he knows it and he can’t have a peace of mind when Liam is like this.

“You’re thinking about that person aren’t you?”

Liam whips his head to Louis. He’s found out about Zayn, holy shit. Liam thought. And it gets him into panic because Louis will be mad at him forever. He’s been a horrible friend, not telling Louis that he knows Harry Styles’s best friend. Zayn Malik. The one person that makes and breaks his heart, the person he’s been thinking about almost everyday, the same person that gets his nerves going whenever something reminds Liam of him, and the same person who may be involved with that Haynz Stalik person.

“You don’t have to tell me who it is, Liam.” And that makes Liam’s heart relax because he’s not in trouble. But guilt still boils in him because he’s hiding it from his best friend.

“Yeah.” Because that’s all Liam could say.

“Can you give me a clue then? Gender?”

“Male.” Giving the gender wouldn’t hurt because there are a lot of possibilities but it still doesn’t dissolve the guilt.

“Oh.”

“First love kind of sappy shit.”

“Make and Break, huh?”

“Yeah. So broken.”

“Took off without telling you?”

Liam nods because it amazes him how Louis knows this kind of crap. And it stops Louis from asking, that’s the end of the conversation and they’re back to finding another topic to talk about. Hopefully something that does not involve “Haynz Stalik” because the “name” is to damn suspicious that it keeps them up the entire night.

***

Every-fucking-day Liam Payne is all that he could think about. Why he left him. Why Management drove him off without properly telling Liam that it was not over. And that it still isn’t over. And he hates it. He hates that the pain is curling around him like a knife he can’t remove. He’s on his second bottle of vodka in a fucking fancy hotel in fucking London. How the hell did they end up here?

Oh right, for a shooting about Harry’s next music video. And he’s a “featuring”.

“Fuck.” He’s had enough and he’s done with drinking and smoking. Well not really with the smoking because it is the one thing that keeps him together, the one thing that drives his mind off Liam. How Liam smells. How Liam feels under his touch. And how he misses his soft kisses and the way Liam’s hands explore around him. Mental. That’s what he declared himself for the night.  
Harry is out in a private pool somewhere in this damn hotel. How dare he leave Zayn to fend for himself? In this time of need? But then again, Zayn is always “in a time of need” because it’s been three years since the break up and Zayn hasn’t gotten over it. Not yet. And the fucking press, the fucking Management won’t stop the issue about he and Harry fucking in every club in the country. “Zayn and Harry official!”, which is a stupid lie. “ZARRY out in the club!”, which is true but the press didn’t have to follow them and print it out. “Harry and Zayn spotted leaving a hotel!”, which gives a whole new different view of the situation. Zayn and Harry. Zayn and Harry. Zayn and Harry. And Zayn is tired of it all! Tired of all the lies and all the he crap.

There is still that contract that holds and it reads in one of the sections, which Zayn wrote himself, that this ZARRY shit would stop if Liam would come in the picture and present himself personally to them. Meaning, if Liam and Zayn are still official, which Zayn always believed but Management still doesn’t see that because they don’t know who the hell Liam is, then ZARRY will be off. 

Done.

Gone. 

But Management doesn’t know Liam, only Harry and Josh do. Zayn showed them pictures of his better days- better, alcohol-free days. And they approve of the man quickly and hope that Liam would be spotted immediately, like some object in a “Find Me” children’s book.

Zayn’s calmed down and he’s not really drunk, emphasis on the drunk.

The door opens and he finds Josh Devine with paper bags of food from “Country Styles.” He knows it’s not funny but he says the stupid joke anyway, “Harry’s got his own Country? That curly boy’s got more admirers that they made a country out of it!” He laughs like a lunatic but Josh answers by rolling his eyes.

“Have you been drinking again?”

Zayn raises the two bottles and bangs them on the table. “Maybe? Fuck me, Josh.”

“NO. Eww. Just stop drinking man. Here. Paul told you to eat and relax because we’d be staying in this city longer than expected.” Josh hands him paper bags containing the best-sellers from the restaurant at the lobby.

“WHAT? Why?” Zayn says as he gets the paper bags from Josh and setting it aside.

“I don’t know, may be they’ve spotted Liam or something.”

“Sod off, mate.”

“But there was this guy in the restaurant that looked like him.”

And that makes Zayn sober in an instant. Liam? He turns to Josh like he’s grown nine tails. “Liam?” The name comes out in a whisper, like a secret Zayn’s been keeping and is afraid that something bad will happen if spoken out loud. And it keeps Zayn’s mind going because of the possibility that Liam is in the same goddamn hotel.

“Yeah. As in, spitting image. But I’m not too sure because this other waiter was so cranky. I never got the chance to ask his name.”

“You think he’ll be there tomorrow?”

“A Sunday? I doubt it, mate.”

“You’re right.” And it’s okay because Zayn is one step closer into finding Liam and telling him straight that they are not over.


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Liam and Louis go on a Harry-hunting spree. Niall sees Zayn but doesn't keep his mouth shut. Zayn sees Liam from a distance and Harry is upset.

It feels so wrong but Liam doesn’t care because he misses Zayn and the way they fit perfectly together. He feels Zayn’s lips on his once more, hungrier this time and Liam feels the same way. “Liam.” He doesn’t know how Zayn ended up in this crappy flat of his and, all the more, he doesn’t know why Louis is not banging his door or messing around this perfect moment. Zayn licks his lower lip asking for access and Liam gives in with no hesitation. Fire sparking with every touch Zayn gives, whether inside his mouth or over his skin. The sensation is wonderful and Liam wouldn’t dare waste a second of it.

“Liam.” He could feel Zayn’s hands traveling under his shirt and every movement lights a fire. His lips move down to his jaw, nipping and sucking his skin, leaving marks that claim possession- and Liam doesn’t care.

“Payne.” And that’s when it hits him because-

“WAKE UP, PAYNE!” It’s all just a fucking dream. Just as he’s about to open his eyes, his stupid friend bodyslams him. “I’m up, get out.” Liam groans. But that doesn’t convince Louis because Liam is definitely half-asleep.

“C’MON, LIAM. LET’S GO HUNT THAT CURLY TOPS.”

“I would want those.” Definitely, still half-asleep.

“WELL YOU CAN’T. I called dibs first!”

“I meant the actual food.”

“PAYNE, YOU DIRTY BITCH.”

And that’s enough to make Liam sit up and rub his eyes to see his horrible this early. He looks at his clock and it reads seven. IN THE MORNING. “LOUIS, who wakes up this early?!”

 

“Who shouts this early?” Louis is tugging Liam’s arm and is lamely pulling him off the bed. “Let’s go hunt Harry, Payne! You promised! Don’t back out now.”

“But it’s so early! That curly bastard’s probably just heading to sleep.”

“Who sleeps at this time?!”

“ME.”

But Liam gives in anyway because it’s useless to go back to sleep now, especially when you have a very persistent flatmate such as Louis. “I’ll be out in ten.”

“Two.”

“FIVE. Geez. At least let me take a bath.”

“Got it.” And Louis is out the room with a huge smile plastered on his face. Liam rubs his neck and tries to recall the dream he had. It was funny how it felt exactly the way they had been. And it hurts.

After that wonderful bath, he puts on whatever shirt he could find and his jeans from last night and his only pair of sneakers. He finds Louis engrossed in his phone, probably flipping through websites, checking Google Maps, or bookmarking all the possible locations Harry could be in.

“Good morning, beautiful!” Louis beams at him.

“Hi. This ‘hunting’ better be good.”

“I have assumed 52 locations fit for a Harry Styles environment.”

This was going to be a long and tiring day.

“And Niall is tagging along.”

This was definitely going to be a long tiring day.

***

It is seven in the morning and Harry is drying his curls. Zayn is now aware of his surroundings and the heat that is pressing on his face because of the hairdryer. “Babe.” Zayn groans.

“Oh. Good morning! It’s a beautiful Sunday.” Harry looks at his best friend and turns off the device.

“What are you doing?”

“Drying my hair. What does it look like?”

“At seven in the morning?”

Harry shrugs and resumes drying his hair. Zayn sits up and wonders what is for breakfast but instead of standing up to find out what it is, an image of Liam crawls in his mind. He remembers that Liam could be working in this hotel and is up and about to find out if he’s here right now. He could call the restaurant and ask for him. He could bring him up to his room and ask Harry to leave and flirt with the light bulbs in this hotel. But it’s a Sunday and Josh was sure that the restaurant was closed.

“What are you thinking about?” Zayn looks at Harry who’s just finished drying his hair.

“Uhm. Josh said that Liam could be working here.”

“REALLY? THEN ALL THE MORE TO THANK GOD WHY I WOKE YOU UP.” Harry kisses Zayn on the cheek even though it hurts. It hurts because he knows that Zayn has been looking for Liam ever since and that Zayn doesn’t see Harry. He doesn’t realize that Harry’s loved him all this time- Zayn has been all about Liam. He doesn’t know Liam, personally, he’s just seen him in photographs and he seems like a good person- with how Zayn describes or talks about him. And Liam may be in the hotel, and there is a huge possibility that he and Zayn may see each other and everything would be back to the way it should be for Zayn. And Harry will be crawling back in the dark because he knows- he knows that Zayn wouldn’t crawl in with him.

“But it’s a Sunday.”

“So?”

“No work.”

“You could call the manager of this hotel to find a certain hot, sexy Liam Payne. Right? Right?” And it hurts Harry even more because he’s encouraging Zayn to look for Liam and not let Zayn see him. He’s been screaming “Look at me” in his head for years but the words never reached Zayn- he thinks it never would.

And Zayn eyes lit. Of course! Call the fucking hotel manager to find out if Liam is actually working here! “RIGHT. I love you!”  
“I love you too.” But their ‘I love yous’ are a hundred meanings too different. Harry reaches for the hotel phone and hands it to Zayn. He dials 1 which directs him to the Office of the Manager of the Hotel. The ringing is endless and he is at the brink of hanging up when at the last minute, someone picks up. “Manager of The London Grand Hotel. Good morning, how may I be of service?”

“Hi. Good morning. It’s Zayn Malik.”

“Mr. Malik, good morning. I assume everything is going well?”

“Yes, the food’s good. Thank you. I would just like to ask something.” Zayn could feel Harry press his ear to the other side of the phone, hoping he could hear what the manager is saying.

“Yes sir, what would you like to ask?”

“I was wondering if you had a list of your employers.”

“Yes, I do, sir. Has one of them harmed you, sir, or in any way, abused you or disrespected you?” If answering yes would be the fastest way to bring Liam in his room as soon as possible, he does.

“Yes.” Harry moves away abruptly and gawks at him, mouthing “ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?”

“What’s the employer’s name, sir? I will fire him right away.”

“No need to do that. I’m sure he was having a bad day and I’ll just talk to him.”

“Yes sir, absolutely.”

“I couldn’t remember what his name was but I do remember it started with a letter ‘L’. He was working at Country Styles.”

“I will recite to you the four male ‘L’ employers working at Country Styles, sir.”

Four employers, what are the possibilities? “Fire away.” 

“Lester Sue.”

“Nope.”

“Lim Sanders.”

“Nope.”

“Louis Tomlinson.”

“Nope.” And Zayn was beginning to lose hope because there is only one name left in that list, and if Liam’s name isn’t there, Zayn would turn back to square one. Zayn would crawl back into his hole, in a box in his head that Liam is lost forever.

“Liam Payne.” And the name strikes him like silver. His heart flutters and his stomach is in knots because there is hope. Zayn can’t help but smile and looks at Harry. “Sir?” The manager’s voice pulls him back to reality, forgetting why he called this guy in the first place.

“Yes. Liam Payne.” The name full in mouth, making the memories surface, and rising the forgotten feeling.

“Right away, sir. I’ll bring him over this very morning.”

“That won’t be necessary. When will his work resume?”

“On Monday, sir. But if you want him right away, I can send him in.”

“It’s fine. It’s cool. I can wait until Monday. I’ll be the one to head to Country Styles.”

“Of course, sir.”

“Thanks.”

“Have a good day, Mr. Malik.” And Zayn hangs up with a huge, goofy grin on his face.

“Well?” Harry says, pretending that Zayn hasn’t found about Liam.

“He’s here.”

And it breaks Harry’s heart because Zayn is one step closer to becoming Zayn and Liam again and Harry would have to crawl alone in the dark. But he wouldn’t want Zayn to realize that Harry’s hurt, so he’ll just have to sacrifice and pretend. “HERE? AS IN, HIDING IN A CLOSET HERE?”

“NO, YOU TWAT. I mean, Josh was right! Liam’s working here! At Country Styles!”

“I told you my curls never go wrong.”

Zayn can now head back to sleep, peacefully. “WE’RE GOING OUT DRINKING, MALIK. GET UP AND LET’S CELEBRATE. THE PRODIGAL BITCH WILL FINALLY ARRIVE.” Harry is up and pulling Zayn off the bed. That’s when Zayn’s realized something. He did find Liam but he’s accused him of something that hasn’t happened. And that was a huge mistake. He’s going to be in some serious shit. Zayn grabs the phone again and dials the number but the manager is gone and the voice machine is on. Shit.

“WHERE IS THAT DEVINE SON OF A BITCH?”

***

Niall’s late as usual, he just finished having breakfast with Josh Devine, the drummer of Harry Styles- Niall knows this. They’ve been going out for 2 years but it’s been kept a secret because they’ve decided to keep it at that. But someday, they promise each other, they will come out and broadcast to the world about their love and their long-term relationship. Not even Liam and Louis know who Josh really is and vice versa and Niall still feels guilty about it.

“You’re going?” Josh asks while hugging Niall’s waist as Niall puts on a sweater.

“I’ve got to help my friend search for somebody.” No specifics. Nothing. And it’s best that way. Although, Niall knows about the Liam-Zayn past love affair but doesn’t tell Josh about this. Niall also knows that his boyfriend is in close terms with Zayn and Harry and it itches him to tell Josh about Liam’s problem with Zayn and Louis’s eagerness to look for Harry.

“I just arrived in London and you’re leaving me?” Niall turns to face his boyfriend and kisses him softly on the lips. “We’ll have dinner. Okay, babe?” And that’s enough to stop Josh from pouting. “Okay. Have fun, babe.”

Niall kisses Josh once more before standing up and leaving the hotel room. And just as he steps into the floor lobby, he catches Zayn Malik fixing his hair. Vain bastard, Niall thinks. He presses the down button and tries to ignore that fact and that’s when it hits him.

ZAYN FUCKING MALIK. THE GUY THAT LIAM HAS BEEN IN LOVE WITH SINCE HE WAS A FREAKING FETUS. The fucking bastard who broke his heart but Liam is still searching for him somewhere. And the person he and his friends are not looking for. Should Niall tell Zayn about Liam? That Liam is still in love with him?

Niall notices that he’s been looking at Zayn’s reflection from the elevator doors long enough and moves his gaze somewhere else. The urge to tell Zayn that Liam is looking for him is tempting. Zayn notices Niall stealing glances at him, and being the expert flirt that he is, he goes near Niall. Niall looks at what the floor the elevator is in and it’s got three more levels left. Niall notices Zayn come closer and he turns around to face him.

“Hi.”

“Hi.” Niall imitates.

“I couldn’t help but become curious to why you were looking at me.” Flirt, Niall thought. And that’s when the elevator dings. Niall steps back but Zayn doesn’t follow. Niall prays that this will all turn out well, he prays so hard at the back of his mind that it would. “Liam’s still looking for you.” And as the elevator door closes, he prays that Zayn wouldn’t remember his face.

Zayn is taken aback. Who is that blonde Irish? How does he know about Liam? More importantly, how does he know about Zayn and Liam? He wants to run down the stairs and chase after him. No, he doesn’t want to, he does. Fourteen levels. That’s not bad. Zayn’s done harder exercises in the past and this bit won’t hurt him. He runs down, jumps over a few steps but lands safely. And he’s at the last flight of stairs and jumps, hurting his ankle a bit but still bearable. He sees the boy’s figure and remembers his light blue sweater and runs after him. The boy is out the door and getting into a car.

He is focused on the boy but when a much more familiar figure enters the scene, he backs away. Like lightning struck him. He knows that figure more than anyone else. Liam’s. He stops because he can’t face Liam just yet. He can’t face the truth, the horrible truth that Liam will declare that they are over. But he has to find out because it’ll be too late and he cannot wait for tomorrow to arrive any longer. The opportunity is there but the car is moving. Zayn starts running, he heads out the hotel but the car’s no longer within running reach. And Zayn’s horribly tired after chasing that boy.

And Zayn swears, he fucking swears with his two beautiful eyes, that Liam turned around- to look at him, to find out if what that boy says is true. And Zayn was there standing, grasping this fucking gap that’s been tearing them apart for three years. His ankle starts hurting and the car is out of sight so he retreats inside the hotel, hoping that he would see Liam in a clearer picture.

***

Niall’s made a huge mistake, his hands are sweating as the elevator heads down, he swears that he could hear the footsteps of Zayn jumping and running down the stairs. Fuck. He hopes the elevator would move faster and hit the ground floor at the next second but his luck just turned around. It stops in the penultimate level and waits for the guests to head in and out of the elevator.

He curses again.

He finally reaches the lobby and sprints out. He spots Louis’s car at the entrance of the hotel and he could hear the footsteps of Zayn behind him. He speeds up and reaches the car just in time.

“You okay, mate?” Liam asks as he steps out of the car.

“Yeah. Someone’s following me, let’s get going.” He’ll tell Liam everything later on or he probably won’t. He’ll let the two star-crossed lovers meet themselves.

“Who’s following you?” But before Liam could turn around, Niall grabs his arm and pulls him inside the car. “Speed up, Louis.” Louis raises an eyebrow but complies anyway because he’s more eager to find out where Harry Styles is. The car moves and Niall exhales.

“You okay?”

“I wouldn’t turn around if I were you.” But Liam does anyway and his eyes widen at his figure. He’s not entirely sure if that was Zayn because it’s been three years since their last encounter and an image of his physique is blurry. “You okay, Liam?” Louis looks from the rearview mirror.

“I could have sworn that was Zayn.” Liam turns ahead.

“If that was Zayn, I would have told you right away, man.” Niall lies and he’s good at that.

“You’re right.”

“I saw that man in the lobby a while ago. I was staring at him for too long because I was fathoming whether or not it was Zayn. Then he looked at me but he wasn’t. He thought he could take a shot at me.” He lies some more. And his two friends buy it.

“Why didn’t you go for it?”

Because I have Josh, Niall thought. “Because I’m eyeing someone else.”

“Well who’s the lucky bastard?”

“I’ll introduce him to you some time.” And this is the truth but he doesn’t answer Louis’s question directly. He changes the topic, “So, where are we heading?”

“I’ve got 52 locations fit for a Harry Styles environment.”

“And how do you know it is fit for his environment?”

“Do you dare question my Harry-radar, Horan?”

“No, sir.” And Niall can’t help but smile because he knows exactly where Harry is. Their first destination is a fancy salon. “A salon? Really, Tomlinson?” Liam chokes.

“His curls are more important than his life. Thrust me.”

“YOU MEAN ‘TRUST ME’.” And Liam slaps his forehead.

***

Harry finds Zayn in the lobby in a horrible state. “Dude, what’s wrong?”

“I think I just saw Liam.”

“Why didn’t you chase him?”

“I got scared.”

“You bastard.”

“I know.”

“HELL YEAH YOU SHOULD KNOW.”

“I feel horrible now, thank you for pressing it.”

“BURN.”

“Shut up.”

“Don’t get mad at me, babe, I wasn’t the one who didn’t grab the chance of talking to my star-crossed lover.” Harry sits beside Zayn on the couch and slings an arm around his best friend- who he wishes was his star-crossed lover. “I feel fucking horrible, Harry! He was there! I know it was him! No doubt! But my feet were just glued to the ground because I’m scared with the fact that he’ll push me miles away!”

“How would you know that? You never tried!”

“I just do.”

“You never tried, Zayn.”

“I know.” Zayn buries his face in his hands regretting that he just missed this opportunity.

“Let’s have a drink.”

“No thanks. I’ll just wait here for that Irish douche.”

“You’re flirting with an leprechaun?”

“NO. I mean, he told me something. And it really shook me.”

“What did he say?”

“Liam’s still looking for you. And it really got me to running after him, my ankle hurts because I skipped the last flight of stairs.”

“The things you do for love, babe, Liam’s a lucky man.”

“I’m not lucky yet.”

***

Their first stop in the salon didn’t look so good because Louis’s misconduct drove the employees crazy. Niall and Liam had to pull him out to lessen the trouble and the embarrassment. Louis was shouting at the ladies and threatening them to tell where Harry was or else he’d burn the building. That was the last straw for Liam. Their second, third, fourth until the tenth didn’t go so well either. It’s lunch and they’re up for some sandwhiches. Louis goes through the list again and ignores his lunch. Niall feels his pain and sighs.

“You know something’s bothering the leprechaun when he can’t finish his lunch.” Liam eyes at Niall.

“Why don’t we head back to the hotel?”

“As if he’d be there, Niall.” Louis stops looking at the list and turns off his phone. He still hopes that Harry is around the city in a disguise not trapped in that hotel being envious about how people walk around admiring the sights. Louis just thinks, and he’s confident, that Harry is just a few feet away from them and that they’d just bump into him- together with Zayn.

“Yeah but that’s the one place you didn’t look at yet.”

“I know but I bet he’s out in the city or something.”

“He’s probably stuck inside his hotel room.”

“You think so?” Louis beams at Niall and Liam just sighs.

“Fuck yeah, that’s like the fanciest hotel in London. He has to be in there, probably for a shooting or something.”

“You feel so confident when saying these things, Niall. I love you.”

That because Niall is confident that Harry is stuck inside the hotel because he knows that Zayn is there too, waiting for Niall to enter the hotel so he could scream at him. And probably ask for explanations and clarifications to why he said that Liam was waiting for Zayn- was still waiting for Zayn.

“Should we go back, Liam?”

“I just want to go home and sleep, Louis. Regarding your Harry-hunt, I could try and ask Paul in return for sexual favors.”

“You’d really do that for me?” Louis beams.

“No.”

***

Niall tags along to their flat because he’s not ready to face Zayn, he’ll wait until the clock strikes six or he could wait for Josh to message him to be ready for dinner. His two friends are in the living room with him. Liam sprawled on the floor and Louis on the couch stretching his legs with his feet on Niall’s lap.

“This is one fucked up day.” Louis finally says because he didn’t accomplish anything. He hoped that he would find Harry in the streets of London but nothing. Nothing happened.

“I’m sorry, Louis. We could stalk him in the hotel tomorrow.” Liam says.

“You guys are so confident about it that it hurts. In a good way. Thank you.”

“He is in the hotel, Louis. Just think about it. You could probably catch him tomorrow morning when you jog.”

“Not a chance.”

“It happens , Lou.” Niall pats his friends feet hoping to give him confidence. But it doesn’t, he thinks. “Wanna watch a movie?” Niall asks to ease the atmosphere in the flat.

“Sure.” Louis stands up to turn on the TV as Liam stands up from the floor to move to the single chair beside the couch. The TV’s on and the trio finds Harry’s face on screen. Louis moves away from the TV for his two friends to take a look as well. The headline reads: HARRY AND ZAYN IN TLGH FOR NEW MUSIC VIDEO.

“Holy fuck.” Liam and Louis mouths.

“I told you bitches to always trust the leprechaun.”

***

Zayn and Harry see the headline as well and they’ve fallen silent.

“Feel like drinking?” Zayn asks.

“Yeah, I could use a bottle or two.”

“Just a bottle, you need to keep me sober until tomorrow.”

“And you’ll be sober until the week after that because you’ll be facing your best nightmare.”

“Yeah, that too.” And they face the TV again, another headline comes rolling: ZARRY INDEFINITELY STAYING IN LONDON. COULD THEY HAVE MOVED HERE? “And you better fix that problem as well, Zayn, or else things are going to get shittier.”

“I know.”

But Harry doesn’t want to let Zayn fix the problem.

***

Josh and Niall have dinner but they’ve ended it quickly because the separation’s killing them. They make love instead.

No, they fuck instead.

“Hey.” Niall tells Josh when they’ve finished making up the separation.

“Yeah?”

“Can I tell you something?” Niall says while absent-mindedly twirling his finger on Josh’s hair.

“Sure.”

“My friend, Liam, is in love with Zayn.” And Josh jolts up leaving Niall’s heart sink because he isn’t cuddling him anymore.

“Liam? You know Liam?”

“Yeah, of course. He’s my friend. Wait, do you?”

“Hell yeah! Zayn’s in love with him too! We’re talking about the same person right? Liam as in Liam Payne, right?”

“Yeah, him.”

“Oh geez. The fucker’s going to flip!”

“Yeah, Liam too. But we have to let them figure it out for themselves.”

“What’s the use? It’s been broadcasted already that we’re here.”

“Yeah but we have to let the kids figure their problem out on their own.” Josh nods and goes back to cuddling his boyfriend. 

“How about our problem?”

“That can wait, as long as we’re happy then everything else can wait.”

“Okay.” Josh meets Niall’s lips and they’re back to making passionate love.

***

“Now that our name’s on London television let’s be prepared for the paps, the fans, and the headlines.” Harry sinks in one of the comfortable couches of the bar, Club London, located at the fourth floor of the hotel.

“Liam’s probably freaking out right now.”

“Liam. Liam. Liam. Words will just be words if you don’t put them into actions, Malik. Now talk to that bastard and-“

“TOMORROW. Calm your tits, Harry.”

“You got him into trouble.”

And he mentally kills Harry for reminding him of his mistake. He doesn’t know how he would face Liam and the Manager of the Hotel probably called the surpervisor of Country Styles. And pretty soon, tomorrow morning, the supervisor would probably scold Liam for something he did not commit. He’s definitely in big trouble

“I know. I’ll fix it.”

“You better.”

“Where’s Josh?”

“Dinner.”

“With whom?”

“I don’t know. He wouldn’t say.”

“That bastard’s probably fucking his date.”

“That’s what I said. DINNER.”

“I want to get drunk.”

“Well don’t. You need to keep a good image tomorrow. I don’t want you to have a hangover. I want you fit and sober so you’d get a good show when face to face with Liam Payne.”

“And you?”

“I feel like escaping tonight.”

“Well good luck.” Zayn swallows a shot of vodka and that’s enough. He needs to keep himself sober until tomorrow because he would want to be fully aware of Liam’s presence. And he would want to make a good impression too, he would want Liam to believe that it is not over, that the gap they have is just a test. A test that’s about to end.

“You think you could sleep?” Harry asks his best friend.

“No. I don’t think I could.” And they don’t.


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis meets Harry and Liam finally meets Zayn.

Louis couldn’t sleep so he decides to crawl out of bed to get some fresh air. The thought that Harry is in the hotel haunts him. He pulls on his hoodey, sweatpants, and his good sneakers. A midnight jog would do the trick. He’s out the door and jogging in the silent streets of London. The London Grand Hotel is in sight and the thought of Harry Styles staying there keeps his veins pumping, his heart trembling, and his body weakening. 

But he shakes the thought immediately because what are the odds of actually meeting Harry, face to face, in the same hotel he’s working in? If he did see the singer, what would he do? Would he tackle Harry? Pull him to a secluded corner and rape him?  
Or would he find him, alone, sitting at the pavement outside the boundaries of the hotel?

Louis does a double-take at the figure sitting on the pavement. The figure couldn’t possibly be Harry Styles. Harry’s famous for Christ’s sake! Harry’s probably in his room looking at the empty streets of the city, envious that he couldn’t walk and explore the wonders of the city. How the cars are fewer, how the streets aren’t busy, how the cool breeze of the night washes away the ounces of stress of yesterday, and how Louis would want his autograph.

He thinks twice whether he would go upto the figure or casually jog then take the turn at the next pedestrian crossing. He chooses the former because he cannot bear to prolong the agony.

And Harry notices him. He doesn’t make a run for it because he would want to act normal for once. He would want to sit around the park without having to run away from the fans, from the paps, and from the rumours. He chose to head out for the night because he would want to talk to strangers and become a regular citizen. He stays and waits for the stranger.

Louis is three feet closer to Harry and his hands can’t stop trembling. What will he say? What should he say? Should he act casual like he doesn’t know the singer? Should he ask for his autograph and chatter on? His mind can’t make anything out of this scenario so he goes with the usual, “Hi.”

The singer looks up at him and smiles. “Hey.”

Louis gulps and his hands won’t stop shaking. Act casual, Tommo. You can do this, don’t freak his curls out. “It’s a bit cold out here.” And Louis mentally slaps himself because that was the stupidest line in his entire life. Harry could sense the awkwardness with the way the man- the young adult- puts his hands in his pocket and couldn’t look at him straight in the eye. “Yeah.” And that’s all Harry could say because he hasn’t thought about scenarios like these.

These casual conversations people do all day without cue cards at hand, without memorizing what to say in front of high-ranking people, the interviewers, and to radio stations make Harry so unprepared. Harry is not good at this at all. He shifts his gaze to the way the young man stands, lean and calm, except for the fact that his hands are shaking.

“Okay, I am not good at this ‘pretending I do not know you’re Harry Styles’ phase, my hands are shaking like hell and I don’t know if it’s because of the cold or because you’re right in front of me. Sorry. You’re probably out here for some peace of mind and I’m just some crazy homo sapien intruding, so I’ll just be stepping out of your space.” Louis says all in one breath and Harry can’t help but chuckle.

“It’s fine, mate. Have a seat.” Harry doesn’t know why he’s out in the first place and he doesn’t know why he’s talking to a fan- a complete stranger in fact! But he has to get his mind off his problem.

“You sure? I’m not invading any private cloud or something?”

“It’s fine. It’s fine.”

Louis can’t miss this opportunity so he sits down on the pavement, a good foot away from the singer. What should they talk about now? “So, how’s London?”

“Great. I love the weather.” Is this what people talk about these days? How they find their city? Or is it because of the fact that Harry just arrived? Probably so.

“I hate it.”

“Which one? Me loving the weather or the weather entirely?”

“The weather, silly.” And Louis laughs, “It’s always too cold. There’s never the right weather.”

“First time I heard of that.”

“This is the first time I’m actually talking about the weather.”

And Harry smiles. It’s been a while since he had a casual conversation like this- exclude the fact that he talks to Zayn and Josh. But this feeling is different. He feels like he knows that man and that they’ve been friends for a long time. “So, what do you do for a living?” Harry asks.

“I work in a beautiful restaurant in a fancy five-star hotel.”

“Which hotel?”

“The one you’re staying in.”

“Oh. What restaurant then?”

“Will you be looking at me from the spy camera, Mr. Styles? Sneaky person you are.”

Harry doesn’t control his laughter because it amazes him how casual they’re talking. This person doesn’t ask silly questions like how’s it like being with Zayn, how he and Zayn ended up being together, how ZARRY is real when it’s not- but he wishes it were, and how he copes up with the stardom. This person talks about random things under the sun like looking at him from the camera’s of the hotel.

“Maybe. Maybe.”

“I’m just messing with you. But you’ll have to find out.”

“Mysterious man you are.”

“You’d have to find out my name too.” And Louis plays this game because it’s been a while since he’s had this much fun. To think he’d be messing around with THE Harry Styles. The one he’s been looking for for years, the one he’s been chasing after yesterday- but brought no such luck, and the one who’s living under the same roof he’s working in. Louis will play this game because there’s a chance that Harry would want to see him again.

“But that’s not fair, you know my name.”

“Because you’re a star and I’m some douche working in a fancy hotel who pays rent.”

“So?”

“So, we’re even.”

“How do you call that even?”

“My word is law, Mr. Styles. And it is something you should remember when you’re here in London. Which reminds me! Welcome to London, Mr. Styles.”

“Thank you, sir. ‘Mr. Styles’ is too formal, call me ‘Harry’.” And the singer beams at him, making his dimples deeper than ever. Louis smiles but casually looks away because he might wind up raping the man.

“Harry.” He doesn’t look at him but it makes Harry’s heart fly. The name sounds good when he says it. And no one makes his name sound good other than the way Zayn says it. It sounds sweet. “What are you doing in London?”

“Uhm, shooting a music video with Zayn.”

That’s when Louis whips his head to Harry’s direction. OF COURSE. ZAYN MALIK. His lover. Best friend. And all that ZARRY shit in the news. Should he ask about it? He does.

“Ah, Zayn. He’s your best friend, right?” But then again, he doesn’t ask whether ZARRY is real because that’s probably all the paps talk about and he thinks Harry is fed up with it.

“Yeah.” And Harry is surprised that the man doesn’t push through with asking how ZARRY ended up to be but sad because Harry knows that Zayn is just his best friend. No more, no less. He silently thanks him both.

“I have a best friend, yeah. Male. And he’s currently-always- upset. I don’t know why.” Louis doesn’t know why he brought Liam up but I guess he has to because he’s tired of seeing Liam upset and he can’t do anything about it. He has to talk this out. And he bets Harry is just the perfect person to talk to about this.

“But you should know why. You’re his best friend. It’s like a mortal sin if you can’t figure out what’s wrong with your best friend.”

“Mortal sin”, Louis laughs, “I don’t know what he’s thinking. He’s still so mysterious to me. That man.” And Louis is lost in space again- completely forgetting who he’s talking to. He looks at his watch and it’s 2 in the morning. He looks at Styles and wonders if it’s okay to ask him for a cup of coffee.

“What?” Harry asks and that’s when Louis finds out he’s been staring at Harry for too long.

“Want to have coffee? I feel like having a cup.”

“Sure.” No hesitation because this might be Harry’s first and last time to enjoy this humane moment. Louis gets up and so does Harry. “I know a great cheap coffee place, just around the corner. It’s called ‘Cup ‘n Cream’. It’s one of my favorite stand-by places while I’m waiting.”

“’Cup ‘n Cream’. Not a bad name. Do you always wait there?” They cross the streets and pass by a few street lights. “Yeah, I mean, I wait for my shift there or when I’m meeting up with my flatmate. I stay there.” They round the corner and the coffee place is in sight. The sign is lit up in gold and brown with the café logo in the background.

Louis enters, letting Harry trail behind. He’s greeted with the waiters and waitresses who know him. Louis has been a regular for three years, ever since they started working at Country Styles. Louis gets his usual seat by edge of the counter and Harry follows suit.

“What will it be, dar- OH MY GOD. You’re Harry Styles.” The waitress exclaims.

“Hi.” And Harry knows his dimples are showing.

“Watch it, Carol. He’s my guest. I called dibs.”

“Can I just have an autograph?” Carol ignores Louis for a moment and brings out a tissue paper and pentel pen. Classic.

“Sure, Carol.” And Harry signs the tissue paper with the pentel pen and smiles at the waitress. He hands her the tissue paper and the girl’s screaming her brain and heart out. She looks at Louis and says, “How did you two meet?”

“I attracted him with my hot bod and beautiful eyes, sugar.” Louis winks at the waitress and Harry can’t help but let out a laugh.

“Of course, Louis. It’s a shame you never asked me out. So what’ll it be?”

“Your Coffee and Chocolate mix. Would you like to try that too, Harry? It’s better than Vodka and Martini combined.”

“Sure. I’ll have a go at it.”

Carol winks at them and heads to prepare their drink. Louis swirls his chair to face Harry and he still can’t believe he’s having coffee with Harry Styles. “I don’t think I’ll tell this to my flatmate.”

“Why not?”

“He’d flip.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. He always does whenever I talk about you back there. It’s like, I don’t know.”

“Why are we lacking specifics?”

“It’s more exciting this way. Plus, when you leave you wouldn’t look for me and I’d always be that British Man With A Hot Bod.”

“You’re wounding me, sir.”

“Okay, fine. I would want you to find me anyway. I’m Louis.” Louis stretches out a hand and Harry shakes it. And Louis feels it and he hopes that Harry does too- the spark. They spark and Louis is never wrong about this. Not because Harry’s famous and it’s every peasant’s dream to live a fairytale but because something just clicked.

“Louis. I’m Harry. Nice to meet you.”

“Same here, Harry. Same here.” And Louis smiles. Harry would want to meet him again. At the pavement. Having coffee at Cup ‘n Cream. And just talk about random things or how their day is going. And it would make Harry never wanting to leave London because he’s set his heart here- his real heart, not to some place in Detroit, Alabama, Texas, or whatever state that he’s forced to declare “I left my heart in San Francisco” kind of headline. London is where his heart may be now because thanks to Louis, his life is much less stressful. And it’s just the beginning, imagine if they kept this friendship up.

It’s 4 in the morning and they’ve talked about primary school and universities. They’ve talked about girlfriends and love lives. How Harry is “not” in love with his best friend in a romantic way. Sure they call each other “babe” and other forms of endearment but that’s just it. How Harry is fed up with the headlines and how ZARRY might never stop. But all of these are lies. He apologizes to Louis in his head for making all this shit up but he knows that someday- when they are close friends- Harry would be able to spill everything to Louis. How he is actually deeply in love with Zayn but is sacrificing because Zayn has fallen in love with someone else. 

And how time flies, Louis looks at his watch and looks back at Harry. Harry knows he should be back in the hotel before five in the morning because that’s when the press are up and looking for something to write about. And Louis doesn’t need Harry to remind him, he knows it.

“Do you want to bump into me again?” Harry asks this because his normal life just can’t end here and he needs to keep himself distracted from Zayn. He wants to talk to Louis more because he gives Harry a whole different view of the world. Louis smiles and nods. “Sure, mate.”

“One more specific?”

“Okay.” Louis pays for their drinks and Harry does a mental check to thank him later.

“Where do you work?”

“Country Styles.”  
And Harry’s mind flips. The place where Liam works. Zayn’s star-crossed lover, the person Zayn’s been finding since the separation, the person that occupies Zayn’s mind and his reason for breathing. Liam Payne. Should Harry ask about this? Or should Harry see for himself later?

Louis senses that Harry wants to ask him more. But it would just have to wait. “No more specifics. Let’s wait until tomorrow.”  
“But you know almost everything about me.”

“Not everything.” And it’s true. Louis doesn’t know everything about him. How his world is behind the fame, how the paps are telling lies, and how he doesn’t see his family that often. Especially how Zayn works his world. Harry decides to wait for later or tomorrow morning. They head out the café and Harry has to run to the hotel because daylight is streaming in the streets of London. Louis has to head back because Liam will wonder where the hell he’s been and get mad at him for leaving Liam to fend for himself.

“What time’s your shift?”

“You’d have to see and find out.”

“Okay.” And Harry smiles because he likes this game, it gives him more reason to stay a bit longer in London. They reach the pavement across the hotel and it’s time to bid each other good-bye.

“See you, Harry.” Louis says.

“Thank you for the coffee, Louis. It was definitely better than Vodka and Martini combined.”

“Told ya. Stick around me more often and I’ll give you a finer taste of London.”

“I think I would.” And Harry’s running back to the hotel, hoping that the paps are not around, and Louis is walking back to his flat, thanking God for such a wonderful morning.

***

Zayn is up and still thinking about Liam and how the hell would he face him later. What should he say. It’s four in the morning and Harry’s gone. He doesn’t know where he went and he didn’t leave a note indicating his whereabouts. He jolts when the door unlocks.

Harry’s back.

“HARRY!” Zayn shouts and it makes Harry jolt as well. “WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?”

“Out for coffee. Why are you up so early?”

“I couldn’t sleep. WAIT, I asked you first!”

“I had coffee out with a friend.” Harry says this with secretly hoping that Zayn would give a hint of jealousy.

“You had coffee with a stranger?” But nothing.

“He’s no stranger! His name is Louis and we are friends. He was so cool. He didn’t ask why ZARRY is real. How all this shit’s happening to us. He didn’t talk about us being famous, Zayn! He didn’t ask for an autorgraph or a picture. He didn’t freak the shit out of me when he saw me sitting at the pavement.”

“WAIT WAIT WAIT. When? WHAT? How did you end up at the pavement? And what time did you leave the room?”

“I left this morning around midnight then I just sat at the pavement in front of the hotel and that’s when he saw me. He looked like he was going for a jog but then my curls distracted him. And we just talked and he asked if he wanted to have coffee. I said yeah because I don’t think I’ll ever feel this way again.”

“Bastard’s in love.”

“WHAT? No. I’m not in love, I just met the man this morning for Christ’s sake. And we’ve only known each other for less than five hours! No sign of love in that.”

“But I bet the man’s in love with you, he’s probably stalked all your baby pictures or your private life. He’s probably one of pap-freaks, working for the paps or something.”

“You think so?”

“I don’t know. But then he’d be taking pictures of you and then gone with the wind.”

“I don’t think he’s a paparazzi. He’s working at Country Styles.”

“WHOA WHOA WHOA. WHAT?” Zayn’s heart is suddenly beating at an irregular fast pace because he is so close to talking to Liam and meeting him, now that Harry’s got a connection to the place. Zayn would want to stand up, take a bath, and hurry down to the restaurant and just wait until Liam arrives. He will drag Liam to a corner and they’ll talk everything out, they’ll be back to normal lovers and Harry can flirt with that Louis. Zayn has a plan.

“He’s working at Country Styles and I bet my arse that he knows Liam.”

“HELL YEAH, HE MUST.” Zayn is out of bed and heading to the closet.

“What are you doing, Malik?”

“I’m picking out what to wear. I’d have to look presentable because I’m bringing my boyfriend back.”

***

Louis is back in their flat and Liam is still half-asleep. He swears he wouldn’t tell Liam about his encounter with Harry but swearing would do no good because he’s jumping on Liam’s bed.

“LIAM! LIAM! LIAM!” Louis can’t contain his happiness because he fucking met Harry Styles and they had coffee while talking about their lives. Liam won’t budge so Louis bodyslams on him again.

“WHAT?” Liam finally gets up. Louis has once again ruined his perfect sleep but something’s not right when he wakes up. Something smells different. And he knows that smell. He ignores it.

“I had coffee with Harry Styles.”

“Louis, if you’re going to tell me about your fucking dreams then-“

“I SERIOUSLY HAD COFFEE WITH THE FUCKING CURLY BASTARD.”

“I know you’re upset that we haven’t found him and-“

“LISTEN TO ME, PAYNE.”

“Fine, fine.” Liam sits up straights and rubs his eyes. When he’s full aware of Louis’s presence, he gives his flatmate the signal to tell his tell-tale.

“Okay, I went jogging this midnight and I saw him sitting on the pavement. So I went to him and we talked about the fucking weather. I know right? Who does that. Well I did, bitch. And then I asked him if he wanted to have coffee and his fucking curly cuteness accepted and we just talked about our lives. It is such a fairytale, Liam. I am so fucking happy.”

“Are you done?”

“You didn’t even listen to every truth I said!”

“It’s called sympathy, Louis. Look it up.”

“If he goes to the restaurant later with Zayn Malik I am fucking you from behind until you can’t take it.”

“OKAY. OKAY. I believe you.”

“You do?”

“I have to! I don’t want anybody fucking the area where my shit comes out.”

“But I really had coffee with him.”

“I know you did, Louis. I can smell his perfume.” And he doesn’t mean Harry’s perfume but Zayn’s.

***

The restaurant opens at 10am but Louis and Liam end up getting there two hours before. And Liam thinks it’s ridiculous. What’s the point of heading to work early in morning? Especially when you’re working in a served-hot restaurant.

“This is stupid, Louis.”

“It’s not! My Harry magnet is curling.” Harry watches Louis look around for familiar curls, which makes him hide further behind the post.

“This is stupid, Harry.” Zayn and Liam are total twins because that’s what Harry heard Liam tell Louis.

“Of course it is, babe. That’s why you should talk to Liam. He’s like in red alert radar.” Harry looks at his best friend who’s been looking constipated ever since they left the room, begging Harry to wait until later when the supervisor is in sight. Zayn takes a quick peek at Liam and his heart flutters every time, making him retreat to his post. He can’t do this now but he can’t wait any longer either.

“Let’s go.” Zayn starts walking back to the elevator but Harry grabs his arm to reel him back to post.

“We are going to talk to them, Zayn, or so help me for I will shout your name, right now.”

“Ha-“ But he’s pulling Zayn and Harry meet’s Louis’s eyes.

“Lou? You okay?” Liam is in earshot, Harry is in sight, Zayn’s heart is going to collapse, and Louis starts beaming.

“Hey Louis!” Harry waves.

Louis starts walking towards Harry.

Zayn is about to collapse.

And Liam turns around. He wants to run away but his feet are planted on the ground. When Louis is in Cloud Nine and so excited and Harry and Zayn are directly in front of them, Liam waits a moment for everything to process before he finally speaks.

“You.”

“Hi. Liam.” Zayn utters and Harry is feeling the guilt already. He finally thinks that this is a bad idea, that Zayn’s heart is not ready to face the scenario, that Louis is so clueless about this, and that he knows Liam wants to run away. Louis is so clueless that he stares at Harry and Zayn then back at Liam then back at the duo.

“Fuck this. I am definitely missing a chunk load of details.”


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zayn wants to talk to Liam but Liam doesn't but Louis lets them. Louis and Harry set their get-together. Someone else enters the picture and Harry doesn't like it one bit.

“This is fucking awkward.”

Louis, Liam, Harry, and Zayn are seated in the lounger of the hotel. “Definitely an awkward bunch,” Harry agrees with Louis.

“I’m sorry, Louis.” Liam faces his best friend. He expected that this kind of shit would turn up but he never expected this to happen so quickly. And in a very awkward situation as well.

“Don’t be, Liam. We understood and silently promised that all private space and shit will be respected. Not your fault.” Louis smiles but the light doesn’t reach his eyes, another specific that Harry noticed. He just wants to sling an arm around Louis’s shoulder and say an extremely stupid joke to lighten his mood. “But you better feel guilty though, Liam. Because how can either of you,” Louis looks at Liam for a few seconds before he turns to Zayn then back to Liam, “stay apart like that for so long?”

“Well we did. And I am guilty, Louis. Thank you for reminding me.” Liam covers his face with hands and it makes Zayn want to hug him. “This is so weird.” Liam utters at his palms. How should Liam start a conversation with Zayn without bringing the topic of “distance”? But Zayn begins it anyway. “Can we talk, Liam?”

“Now?” Liam shoots up.

“No. I mean, later. Just the two of us.”

“Sure, Zayn. Louis, here, ditched me for Harry.”

“I DID NOT DITCH YOU, LIAM JAMES PAYNE. I STILL LOVE YOU TO BITS.”

Liam smiles because he knows Louis means it. Liam’s been so caught up with his emotions that he forgot that it’s been three years since he last saw Zayn Malik. His hair’s changed, he’s grown muscles, and he’s more mature in the physical aspect. A lot has changed definitely, including his feelings.

“I’m Louis, by the way,” Louis stretches a hand towards Zayn, “and it is nice to finally meet the person who’s been preoccupying Liam’s mind for so long.” Zayn smiles and shakes it.

“Nice to meet you too. And thanks for taking care of Liam.”

“That’s all wrong, mate. Liam’s my nanny.”

“Shut up, Louis.” Liam glares at his flatmate.

“Oh! It just hit me. The two of you know Liam?” Louis ignores his glares and focuses on Harry and Zayn.

“I just know him by face. Zayn’s shown me their pictures.” Harry says.

“Their pictures?” “Our pictures?” Louis’s face lits up while as Liam’s full of curiosity- wondering why Zayn would still have their pictures and not have thrown them out to sea or burn them with all their memories.

“And I-“

“Don’t. Louis. I’ll tell you soon.”

Liam looks at Zayn and Zayn looks back. There is still something clicking every time they look at each other- and it fits perfectly.

***

Louis looks at his watch and they’ve got 30 minutes left until the shop opens. Liam and Zayn have not set out their differences and he doesn’t think it will be settled within the day either.

“Harry.” Louis looks at the singer. Harry whips his head up and looks at Louis. Louis’s heart starts fluttering because this is not normal- talking to your celebrity crush will never be normal. “Are you busy later? I can show you to the best finest restaurant in the city.”

“You wouldn’t, Louis” Liam shoots him a look.

“I am grabbing this beautiful opportunity to date Harry Styles. And it is so obvious that you’re in a complete bitch fit, Liam James. And it’s also the perfect opportunity to talk to Zayn. Catch up to things or whatever lovers do. We’ll handle this best friend problem of ours later.” Louis looks at Harry, waiting for his reply.

“I’m free. It’s cool.” Harry smiles.

“Don’t do this, Haz.”

“You’re in a bitch fit, too, Zayn. You need to catch up with Liam. And I would definitely grab this opportunity to date someone with a hot bod.”

“WHAT?” Liam jolts and shoots a look at Louis.

“Bod. Meaning body, if you don’t get it.” Louis says.

“How sick can you get? Brain-washing Harry into thinking that you have such?”

“Our fight isn’t over, Payne. I’m not talking to you at work.”

“Yeah right, Tomlinson. You wouldn’t last a day without talking to me.”

Louis doesn’t answer.

***

“He’s just thinking of himself.” Liam says to Harry during his break- when customers don’t enter the restaurant. Louis hasn’t talked to Liam at all- literally. And Liam is getting upset and paranoid, he’s not used to not having Louis bug him, devour him with knowledge about random things, gossiping the latest buzz about Harry Styles and everything that revolves around him, and he is definitely not used to Louis keeping post at one corner and just standing there like someone’s about to shoot him.

“I think he’s upset.” Harry looks at Zayn for approval- he nods. Liam rolls his eyes and looks at Louis one more time. Sure, Liam’s happy that he and Zayn finally saw each other and they started off quite well than expected- the real climax will begin later but they’ll save the emotions for that- but Louis. Just Louis not talking to him will never compare to Zayn being here because Louis is the person he hangs on to, relies on, whenever Liam is not emotionally stable. He snaps out of reverie when Paul, their supervisor, enters the restaurant. Louis and Liam, together with the other employers, greet him a good morning.

“Mr. Payne.”

“Yes sir?”

“Ah, Mr. Malik good timing too. You wanted to speak with Mr. Payne, yes?”

And the memory of getting Liam into trouble sinks in. “AH. That won’t be necessary! It’s all covered. It’s fine. Everything is fine.”

“What’s fine? What?” Liam asks quizzically.

“Are you sure, Mr. Malik? I could fire him right now.”

“FIRE ME?” “FIRE HIM?” Liam and Louis say in unison.

“Won’t be necessary-“ “What is he talking about, Zayn?” “- I’ve got it all covered.” Zayn and Liam face each other and everything might turn to it’s normal course- arguing.

Paul raises an eyebrow but he nods and exits the restaurant. Zayn exhales and gives Harry a “help me” look. Harry shrugs and walks to Louis.

“What was that?” Liam asks as Zayn nears him.

“A friend of mine also knows you by face and he goes by the name of Josh Devine. He was asked to get the food and he saw you and more awkwardness- he said he stared at you for so long that Louis had to shoo him away. So he went up to our room and he told me that it might have been you. So the following morning I just had to find out, so I called the Manager of the hotel. And the guy asked why I called, if it was because of disrespect or abuse. So I said yes but I told him that I would talk to you. But then things went a different course and I forgot about it. So there, the supervisor was here and here we are.”

“YOU WHAT? Why would you do that, Zayn?”

Liam’s upset and Zayn knows this, he was hoping to avoid this for at least one day but God had other plans. “I’m sorry, Liam.” And that was all he could say because he didn’t know what else to say. HE WANTED TO SEE THE MAN FOR CHRIST’S SAKE. And he only thought about himself, what was he supposed to do? By hook or by crook, that’s the agenda whenever it’s about Liam.

“Okay. At least I didn’t get fired.”

“Yeah. And that was one thing I would want to talk to you about. So, later?”

Harry turns back to Louis, they’ve been talking about prices of coffee when they all taste the same, just adding the fancy design and premium milk and sugar and coffee. “Why won’t you talk to him?”

“He never told me. I’ve been talking about you in 80% of our conversation and he never brought it up. It’s been hurting him but I chatted on because I didn’t know his past with Zayn. And it’s frustrating, you know. I mean, I never met you and I’ve developed some celebrity crush out of admiration while Liam’s actually in love with Zayn because they actually had something. I feel so stupid. And what frustrates me more is that that bastard said yes to me finding you. The bastard said yes, even though he knows that Zayn will be with you too. And I know it must drive him mad or crazy but he didn’t say anything.”

“He’s kind.”

“Yeah and that makes me the devil, I guess.”

“No one said that, Louis.”

“I know. I know. I just felt like saying it because I’ve been tempting Liam to go out, have fun, find someone, and fall into the trap of my crazy adventures.”

“You should talk to him.”

“No. BUT I won’t let him talk to me unless he talks to Zayn.”

“He’s talking to Zayn now.”

“You know what I mean, Harry.”

And Harry knows that Louis’s word is final because he can sense the seriousness in his voice. “Are we still up for our date later?”

“Oh yeah, because you’ll be begging me to stay by your side.” Louis then sees Liam at the corner of his eye. But he knows to himself that he cannot ignore Liam for long because he is his best friend and they’ve been at each other’s wits since day one. They know each other’s flaws and their secrets have never been in the course of discussion. Louis knows that he has no right when it comes to Liam’s hidden life and he lets it be. He lets it stay that way.

Now that one of Liam’s secrets is out, Louis doesn’t know what to do. As Liam nears him, Louis just looks at him- arms crossed.

“You can’t stay mad at me forever, Louis.” Louis doesn’t budge because he’s stubborn and he’s taking in too much pride. He sighs and gives in anyway, not verbally but by hugging his best friend. “It’s okay, Lou. I know you’re such a queen.”

“Shut up. I’m only doing this out of pity. You just can’t take your eyes off me.” Louis murmurs on Liam’s shoulder. Louis lifts his head and faces his best friend/flatmate/co-worker/shoulder to cry on. “What?” Liam says, unaware that two famous singers are looking at them intently.

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry, too.”

“We’ll talk about this later, right?” Louis tightens his grip around Liam’s waist.

“Alright , love birds. I can smell the sex from the kitchen. In case you two dicks haven’t noticed, we’ve got two celebrities in the house.” Stan interrupts their “best friend” moment but they just laugh at Stan’s remark. They release each other and head back to their posts. It’s Louis’s turn to stay behind the counter and Liam’s turn to act as a waiter. Zayn walks to Liam, wanting to hug him- even kiss him in fact, or as much as possible, drag him out and into his room to give him the sex he has been missing- but he controls himself.

“Hey.” Liam starts the conversation.

“You and Louis. You guys are so. So, uhm.”

“Intimate?”

“Something like that, yeah?”

“We can be.”

And Zayn feels a pang of envy and another emotions he cannot point out. “Really?” He manages to choke.

“Yeah, he’s a real lover boy- Louis. If Harry manages to get into his inner circle, he might just never leave. He’s that precious. And fragile. You see, you may think he’s tough and full of pride but he’s really a softy. He was almost on the verge of tears back there.”

“You really know him, Liam.”

“Yeah, well, I know him well enough because he and I live together. He’s my flatmate.”

“You and Louis live together?”

“Oh yeah. We’re so into each other.”

And Zayn just stays silent, unaware that Liam can read his expression clearly. Anger. Jealousy. Sadness. Longing. “You’re an open book, Zayn. Don’t worry, I’m still a virgin.”

***

“Is it always quiet here?”

Louis looks at the clock and it’s striking lunch. It’s funny and weird because the place would be usually packed with customers, expecially around this time when people actually have the energy and patience to wait outside for them to be served or for a seat to be vacant.

“Maybe they’re keeping the paps outside or something. This place would be usually packed by now.” Louis turns back to his companion.

“While waiting for customers to-“ Harry’s phone starts ringing, he ignores it for a few seconds because he really wants to talk to Louis but Louis has got his eyebrows raised. “One moment,” Harry gets his phone and it reads the name of the person he dreads the most. He swallows a lump. His phone is still ringing and Zayn and Liam turn to him. “Are you going to answer it? It’s like you’ve seen a ghost or something.”

He swallows another lump and answers it.

“Hell-“

 _“BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAABE!”_ Harry pulls the phone immediately away from his ears. Louis suddenly laughs while Zayn slaps his forehead and Liam being completely clueless.

_“HARRY? YOU THERE, BABE? I HEARD YOU WERE FUCKING IN LONDON.”_

“I think my phone’s broken. It’s going on loudspeaker on its own.” Harry turns to look at Louis but his phone is definitely not on loudspeaker.

_“I CAN HEAR YOU!”_

“TONE DOWN, NICK. You’re embarrassing me!” Harry shouts back at his phone leaving Louis breathless from laughing loudly. “Spare me, Louis.”

_“’LOUIS’??? LOUIS VUITTON?? HE’S THERE? Is he giving away free bags?”_

Zayn grabs the from Harry before embarrassing him further. “Grimmy.”

_“Hello? Hello? Zayn? Is that you? Hey!”_

“Yeah. Yeah. Listen, we’re in The London Grand, and we’re in a restaurant called ‘Country Styles’ – save the laughing for later, so yeah. You just disturbed Harry as he was talking to his soon-to-be lover. So yeah, meet us here and let’s talk.”

_“WHO-“_

“Bye!” Zayn ends the call and tosses the phone to Harry.

“Thank you, Zayn.”

***

“The bastard’s here. Holy fuck. I can smell his gel.” Harry’s behind the counter together with Louis while Zayn and Liam are opposite them. It’s past lunch time and “Grimms” messaged both Harry and Zayn that he’ll be over in a few minutes. It has made Harry nervous ever since. “Calm down, Styles. It’s just Nick. You’ve been up his ass ever since you guys were 16.”

“It’s not him I’m worried about.”

The door opens and- “BABE!”

“That dick has his sunglasses.”

“His hair must have been caught in the wind.” Louis raises an eyebrow. Zayn and Liam meet up to greet him as Harry and Louis move from the counter.

“It’s really like that.”

“He looks like Elvis.”

“Babe!” Nick pulls Harry into a hug. “Hi.” Harry hugs the man back afraid that something horrible might happen if he doesn’t. Louis and Liam stand beside Harry and Zayn, respectively.

“So. Are these your boy toys?” Nick sets his sunglasses on the table and beams at them.

“No. This is Liam.” _My boyfriend_. He lets the words hang in the air.

“Hey, nice to meet you, mate. I’m Nick.” He shakes Liam’s hand.

“Hi.”

“And this is Louis.” Harry says in a hush tone.

“Ah! You. Hi. Sorry for interrupting your love fest with Harry, here.” Nick extends a hand. “No sweat. Pants were still on.” Louis smiles and plays along with his joke.

“I like you. I approve.” Nick holds out a thumb’s up to Harry. “Hey! We could go clubbing tonight, boys! What do you say? You guys free tonight? Or have you guys got dates?”

“We’ve got something scheduled.” Harry says the safest answer.

“So you guys are going on double dates. That’s cool. It’s cool. Just entertain me here.”

“Who said it was a double date?” Harry says defensively.

“Why so defensive, Styles?” Nick smirks at him.

“I- I give up. What do you want to talk about?”

***

Zayn and Harry both knew that Nick wanted more than just to talk about why they are in London, they both know that Nick doesn’t give a damn about their upcoming music video, Nick only gives a shit on how, why, and when did Louis and Liam enter their lives.

Zayn starts first.

“I’ve known Liam for a long time.”

“And you didn’t tell me about it?”

“I’m telling you now, aren’t I?”

“Proceed.”

Zayn takes a glance at Liam, who is working at the counter- serving a customer. He looks back at Nick. “It’s kind of complicated. We’re going to sort things out later.”

“What do you mean complicated?”

“We haven’t-“ Zayn can’t say the words “break up” because they aren’t. They’ve just had a 3-year time-out, a forced time-out.

“Haven’t what? Oh. I get it. He’s your boyfriend, right? And Management fucked it up. I get it. And then?”

Zayn silently thanks Nick that he’s caught up to things quickly. “We don’t know yet. We’ll talk about it.”

“Okay. Update me then. So,” Nick turns to Harry with a huge grin on his face, “Louis huh? New toy? You cheeky flirt.”

“Shut up, Nick. You know nothing.” Harry glares at his friend, unbelievable that he has the guts to say something like that when Louis is in earshot.

“I know for a fact that you are a flirt. I suggest you either have a long-term relationship with him or just get out of this city because I know that _he_ wants the former.”

“You don’t know anything, Grimmy!” Harry slams his hands on the table making eyes look at his direction, especially Louis’s.

“Calm down, Curly. I know you’ve just met the lad and, well, you’re a prince, and he works and pays rent. I just don’t want to see Louis get hurt or be involved in some ‘I’m tired of this’ kind of shit. And Louis is a nice guy. I have a keen sense for those types.”

“You think I don’t know that?”

“So you’ll date him?”

“I don’t know him.”

“Do you want to know him?”

“Yeah.”

“Update me  then. Both of you. I’ve got a date. And where’s Devine? I haven’t seen his handsome face for a long time.”

“He’s got a date.” Zayn says.

“You mean sex right? He’s out somewhere having a good fuck?”

“Obviously. Apparently he’s seeing someone and we still don’t know who.” Harry and Zayn look at each other.

“He’ll come out eventually. Same birds of the same feather flock together, right?”

“You’re saying he’s got a _boyfriend_?” Zayn’s jaw drops.

Josh Devine? Has a boyfriend? Is that even possible?

“I don’t know. Whoever he’s dating, it seems they’ve been going on for quite a while. Everytime you guys are in London, he seems to go missing and coming back whenever you guys have practice, tours, and interviews. I’ve just noticed. And he’s been always so mysterious to me. One time, we went to this fashion show because I was required too, so I tagged Josh along. He didn’t even pay attention to the models! AND THEY WERE IN BIKINIS! BIKINIS! How can you not have your sexual desires tingling!?! Devine definitely did not have his tingling.”

“He’s got a girlfriend?”

“Then he would have told us, Zayn.” Nick shoots him a look.

“Okay okay! Let’s just respect Josh’s privacy. Okay? If he wants to tell us, he will. We won’t force it out on him.”

“Privacy. Do you guys still have that now?”

***

“It was nice meeting you, Nick.” Liam and Louis extend their hands to Nick to bid him a good-bye.

“Pleasure’s mine. I’ll see you guys soon. Zayn. Harry.” Zayn and Harry smile at Nick as he steps inside the cab. They give their final waves as the cab drives off.

The night is still young and plans have yet to be accomplished. “So, shall we go separate ways?” Louis breaks the tension.

“Are we seriously going to do this now, Louis? I’m tired.” Liam says. He doesn’t want to discuss the past with Zayn, not now. His heart isn’t ready yet and he hasn’t thought about what he’s going to tell Zayn and how he’s going to tell it. What should the talk about? How will the night end? How will they turn out to be after this night? Has their relationship ended? Is Zayn going to officially end it? Or will they take the 3-year separation has a time-out phase and they’re officially still together?

All these questions are endless and Liam is not prepared to hear every answer but then at the back of his mind, someone is telling him to hear what Zayn has to say because it’s mostly his fault. That’s what Liam thinks anyway.

“Now, Payne.”

“What about the flat?”

“What do you mean ‘ what about the flat’? Since when did you care about the flat? And don’t even answer that Payne, you are not running away from this beautiful opportunity. And don’t worry, I’ll take care of the flat. I’ll ask Harry to help me clean it.”

“ARE YOU INSANE!?!” Liam is definitely embarrassed.

“It’s cool. I just like chilling and all. You could show me the finer taste of London on the weekend.”

“See? Even Harry agrees with me, Liam.”

“We don’t need to go anywhere fancy, Liam. We could just talk in the hotel room.”

Liam swallows something hard and looks at his best friend for life support but he’s long gone in Harry-land. “Sure, Zayn.”

“Great! We’ll see each other tomorrow then?”

“Yeah and don’t forget to change the sheets, Louis.”


	5. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zayn and Liam speak to each other and Harry confesses something to Louis.

“What did he mean when he said change the sheets?” Harry asks as they walk up the steps to the flat.

“You’re too young to know, Harry.”

“I’M EIGHTEEN.”

“Yeah, and I’m twenty.”

“But you’re not of legal age yet!”

“And you’re acting like a baby."

“You’re so unfair, Louis.”

Louis unlocks the door and faces Harry. He ponders whether he’ll tell Harry that Liam meant that if he’d have sex with Harry, he’d have to change the sheets. But Louis knows that will never happen because Harry is so far away- even though he’s just under the same roof as he is.

“Let’s clean shall we?”

“We’re really cleaning?”

“Did you have something else in mind?”

“Not really.”

“Then let’s clean. I promised I would do this for Liam.”

“On second thought, I do have something in mind.”

“I knew that you wouldn’t clean with me. What’d you have in mind?”

“Let’s have dinner.”

“Sounds great, Harry.” Louis beams at him, “But first, we clean. Because I am tired of looking at this mess.”

***

“What?”

Liam asks Zayn because he doesn’t know how to start this crap. He doesn’t know how to casually let the _real_ conversation sink in. How would he casually ask Zayn the _question_? Liam makes himself comfortable on the couch while Zayn is stiff as ever.

“I want to talk about us.”

“Well, I don’t.”

“You’re lying.”

“I don’t want to dwell on the past. If it’s over, then it’s over.”

“BUT IT’S NOT-“

“Then why didn’t you tell that to Nick?”

“What?”

“You didn’t introduce me to Nick as your boyfriend or whatever.”

“I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT FROM YOU. I kept it safe.”

“YOU WALKED AWAY, ZAYN. You walked away and left me! How can _anything_ be safe!?” Liam didn’t want it to end like this or start off like this in fact. He didn’t want to argue with Zayn because he misses him. This was not a part of his mental check list. Fighting with Zayn was not what he had in mind at all but he couldn’t help it because anger suddenly boiled. He remembered how lonely and desparate he felt. How it was hard moving on- how he couldn’t move on. It was hard thinking of distractions and dating someone he hardly met. Now that Zayn’s in front of him, he’s back to square one in finding himself. “You left me dying, Zayn! Everyday I would find something to keep my mind off you but you were everywhere! From tabloids to the worldwide web!”

“You should have told me right away- about us.”

“ME? You wanted me to tell _you_ that _I_ was your boyfriend.”

“Was?”

“Isn’t it how it is now? Was?”

“No. You still are.”

“We need to do a mental check on this, Zayn.”

“I don’t want a fucking mental check, Liam.”

“I’m tired, Zayn. Tired of waiting, hoping, and realizing that we’re up to no good. Every morning, I’m so exhausted of not finding you beside me or waiting for you to come up to my doorstep and telling me to run away with you or that you wanted to say sorry for leaving me. I’m tired of thinking about you because I miss you every day. And now that you’re here and we’re arguing and I called it off while you sit there acting like we’re still together. Doesn’t it frustrate you too?”

“You think you’re the only one who feels that way? Haven’t you taken into consideration about my feelings? Waking up knowing that my life revolves about these fucking rumors that I am in love with my best friend? ZARRY? It’s bullshit, Liam! Even Harry knows that! I and Harry were never even together from the start! Just because he and I go clubbing every night to get away from this fucking crisis and end up drunk and doing horrible things like fucking him because I’m always thinking he’s you and the entire fucking press publishes it like some entertainment piece, just because those tabloids post these ridiculous lies, you believe it? Do you believe that I am in love with Harry because the fucking press says so? Did you ever wonder or even decipher the reason why I go out and drink until I die? Did you ever wonder that I have been doing all of those because I’m still in love with you and I loathe being dragged away from you? Did you think that I wanted to leave you?”

“You could have done something to save us.” Liam whispers. It tears Zayn’s heart apart because Liam said it. Zayn hasn’t done anything to save their relationship. It sinks in that Zayn just smokes and drinks to take his mind off Liam and how they were separated, how Management broke them. He returns Liam the question, “You could have done something too, Liam.”

“But we didn’t.” Before Liam could say anything else, Zayn pulls him abruptly for a kiss- closing the distance. Liam pulls Zayn closer. All their negative emotions vanish and are replaced with longing. Zayn pulls himself away and stares into Liam’s eyes.

“Please tell me you’re a little bit in love with me.” Zayn whispers.

“I’m still in love with you, Zayn. And it’s hard lying to you about it.”

***

“LOUIS!” Harry swats away the tablespoon full of chili Louis has been holding. They’ve went on with Louis’s Tour of London, their first stop is the best chili in town but Harry doesn’t seem to understand that point.

“You are such a coward, Harry. It won’t taste good unless you add the chili.” Louis reaches down for the tablespoon and sets it aside. He reaches for another tablespoon and fills it with chili. “Don’t you trust me?”

“You, I do. But that chili? No.”

“But it’s the highlight of the hotdog! How can you not appreciate the best chili in town? Plus Mr. Collins stayed up late for us because you keep on whining about their chili. You have hurt his feelings and the hotdog’s.” Louis takes a look at the stall-keeper, Mr. Collins, and gives him a warm smile.

“It’s fine, Louis. Most customers arrive at this time of night. I usually close at 10pm.” Mr. Collins smiles back.

“Mr. Collins, I am trying to show Harry how he should appreciate London because of your chili. And I never liked chili! This is the only one I like, in fact.”

“I hate chili. You can’t make me eat that. I’m sorry, Mr. Collins. But I just hate how it tastes on my tongue and how it unexplainably hurts.”

“But that’s the good thing about chili! It’s a good sensation of hurt.”

“HURT? Have you gone mental? Do you like being hurt?”

“Depends on the situation, I guess. BUT, that is not the point, my dear friend, because you are distracting me from forcing you swallow this delicious chili. HURRY UP, HARRY. I still need to get seats for this club I’m going to show you!”

“I don’t like clubbing.”

“WHAT? Still not of legal age?”

“No. It’s just, nevermind. Give me that chili.”

“You’ll never let me go, Harry. You will never let me go.” And Harry grabs Louis’s hand and tightens his grip like a life support. He braces himself as Louis slowly pours the tablespoon full of chili along the hotdog. Harry gulps and prepares for this experience of his. “Can we just-“

“No. We’ll eat this on the count of three. Here, I put twice as much chili as I can take and this has never happened before. Right, Mr. Collins?” The store-keeper nods.

“Okay. On three.”

“One.” Louis starts and nears his meal closer.

“Two.” Harry takes a glance at Louis and back at his own meal. The thought of chili disgusts him and he wishes that this will all be over as soon as possible. He hopes that the third count won’t arrive but that’s not happening because before Louis could count the last number, Louis is already force-feeding Harry the meal.

The sensation of spice hits him and he hates it. How his tongue is suddenly on fire and how it feels like it’s going to burst. How he could feel steam exit from his nose but for some reason, it tastes good. It’s sweet and has a bit of garlic and onion to it. Harry doesn’t vomit- for the first time. Louis lets go of his hand and pays Mr. Collins extra for a job well done. Mr. Collins claps and offers both Harry and Louis a drink- on the house.

“Well?” Louis beams at Harry as he opens his drink. Harry takes another bite of his sandwhich and smiles at Louis. Before he could answer Louis, he’s finished his sandwhich and reaches out to take a sip from his drink. “It’s delicious. Wait till Zayn hears this.”

“We’ll be heading now, Mr. Collins. Thank you, again, for performing another miracle.”

They leave the restaurant and Louis leads the way to his favorite pub in town, Club London, but before he could take the corner, Harry grabs him from behind. “What’s up?” Louis spins around and finds Harry staring into something else.

The local park.

“Are you serious?” Louis asks and Harry is taken aback.

“Y-yeah.”

“Cool. This was the first place I’d show you but it crossed my mind. I thought you would want to hang out in clubs.”

“Don’t believe everything the paps tell you.”

“Who said it came from the paps? I don’t believe any of that shit. Especially the huge bit about you and Zayn. Zarry. That is a load full of bullshit.” Louis puts his hands in his pocket and walks ahead of Harry to the local park. Louis has got himself thinking whether that ZARRY news is true. They seems awfully close but the news about Liam and Zayn “formerly” dating replaces it. Zayn loves Liam and Liam never even talked about it and it upsets him because whenever there is news about Harry, Zayn will always be involved. And now that Louis has thought about it, whenever he talks about Harry it’s Zayn that’s always occupying Liam’s mind.

Liam wouldn’t listen to Louis talk about how Harry has been doing, the latest scoop that the paps dug, or Harry’s whereabouts. Liam has always wondered where Zayn was, how he was doing, or whether the rumors about him were true. Liam will always wonder when reality and fiction wouldn’t mix.

“Louis?” Harry brings Louis out of his reverie.

“Yeah?”

“You seem lost.”

“Yeah. Just thinking. Want to talk about specifics?” Louis sits down on the sandbox and removes his Toms. He stretches his legs and digs his feet under the sand. Harry does the same and sets his shoes beside Louis’s.

“You go.” Harry whispers.

“Why is there a ZARRY?”

“Paps?”

“I get that. But why? Ever since you showed up in public, like literally showed up in public , all they ever talk about is what you were doing with Zayn. The paps didn’t quite get the whole gist in that, they didn’t dig in deeper and it both frustrates me and doesn’t.”

“I loved Zayn.”

Louis abruptly looks at Harry. “You hate Zayn now?”

“No. I mean. Loved. It’s not ‘best friend type’ of love. It’s _love_.”

Louis’s heart breaks but he has to dig in for this or else his mind wouldn’t contain peace. But Louis doesn’t push through, “Were you hurt?” He turns to his feet in the sand, how it looks like he doesn’t have feet at all.

“Hurt? Because he has Liam? Of course I was. I was so hurt. But then I later figured that-“ Harry stops and that’s when Louis realized that Harry _still_  loves Zayn.

“What did you do?”

“I know it’s unfair for your side and obviously for Liam’s but I prayed, prayed so hard, that they wouldn’t find each other. I kept it from Zayn of course and I helped him looking for Liam. It hurts but I know Zayn’s even more hurt. The fact that Management tore them apart? I mean, even I would be dying inside. Add oil to the flame, when either party doesn’t know what they are now. Lovers? Friends? Nothing? It may not be obvious in Zayn’s expression that he doesn’t seem hurt, but he sure as hell is. I could hear him cry sometimes every night. And everytime the paps post some news about ZARRY, Zayn would whisper to himself ‘Liam saw this’, ‘How will I tell this to Liam’, and ‘Liam wouldn’t love me back’. Liam. Liam. Liam. It’s clear that his world revolves around him and-“ That’s when Harry realizes Louis’s cold hand- that Louis has caught a tear. Harry doesn’t usually cry in front of strangers, hell he knows the paps more than Louis but he has never showed them a tear.

“You’ll be okay, Harry. Maybe someone out there is probably better for you. I don’t know.” Louis secretly thinks to himself, he wishes that it’d be him- the person Harry would fall for. But his chances of becoming that person are getting slimmer. Harry is still in love with Zayn and Louis cannot just barge in Harry’s heart and replace Zayn. Louis knows that he wouldn’t have a chance at the competition when Harry is _still_ in love with Zayn. _Still_ measures infinitely and infinity is hard to break.

“No offense to whoever that person may be but I really don’t want another person. No one can replace Zayn. This is insane. Talking to you about this. It’s so awkward because you’re the best friend of my best friend’s lover.”

“We’re a complicated family, Harry.”

“So complicated.”

“And fucked up.”

“So fucked up, Louis.”

“Wanna talk about something else?”

“Okay. My turn to ask you a specific.”

“Hit me.” Louis smiles.

“It’s clear that you are not in the same situation I am, so what’s bothering you?”

“I am in the same situation you are in.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Like a few seconds ago.”

“How can you be in my situation a few seconds ago? We’ve been together since morning.”

“Harry, when you figure out a bigger mess, you wouldn’t figure out the tiniest speck of dust that comes along with it. And I am that tiny speck of dust.”

“I don’t get it.”

“You will, soon. You just have to look inside my brain. Now, your question was?”

“What’s bothering you?”

“A lot of things are bothering me.”

“We’ve got time.”

“First, Liam and Zayn. But I’ve told you about that in the café so no need to relive it. Second, how the one person I’ve _loved_ or _dreamed to be with_ for so long suddenly ends up confessing about being in love with someone else. And it’s a hard shit to take because I never realized it, crap never crossed my mind that the person would be in love with someone else. I’ve been always telling myself ‘hey! They’re not yet married, so what the hell. I have a chance.’ But none of it will be happening, ever.”

“Are you also in love with Zayn?”

“Yeah, I guess I am. He seems to be all over everybody now.” Louis looks at Harry and he’s turn ghost white. “I’m just kidding. I don’t even know the guy personally until recently.”

“Liam?”

“OH GOD. Don’t even go there. I love Liam. I do. He’s my daddy/flatmate/best friend but I am not crossing that line. No offense, I just don’t see him that way.”

“Then who?”

“No more specifics.”

“What!? So unfair! You’re leaving me hanging!”

“I’ll tell you next time. I’m not prepared to tell this. I haven’t told Li yet. It’s a personal rule of mine. Best friends are always first on the gossip list.”

“Okay. Okay. A clue? About the person.”

“I guess a clue wouldn’t hurt.”

“And?”

“Everyone knows him.”

“What do you mean by everyone?”

“SHUSH! No more. Zip it. Let’s move on.”

“When will you tell me?”

“When your heart is ready.”

“Is it heartbreaking?”

“No. It’s more of confusing the heart.” Louis looks at Harry and wonders what mess he’s gotten himself in.

***

From kissing to grinding to actually fucking their souls out, they’ve gone quiet. Liam’s back to twirling Zayn’s hair in between his fingers and Zayn is back in Liam’s arms- actually he’s resting his head on Liam’s chest. They’re together and the paps need to check on this because there was never a ZARRY and _ZaynandLiam_ never existed. There has always been a _ZaynandLiam_ and that’s how everything should have been and should be.

“Babe?” Zayn looks at Liam.

“Yeah?”

“I want to end all this ZARRY shit.”

“Then let’s make a scene.”

“I’m thinking that too but I need the perfect moment.”

“How about Management?”

“I don’t care because I’m tired of seeing ZARRY everywhere and Management needs to get a grip and accept every bit of me. You’re adorable, babe, and they’ll love you, I just don’t understand why they pulled us apart.”

“Why is there even a ZARRY?”

“I thought I could replace you but fuck my brain, I couldn’t because you were always in my heart.”

“You fell in love with Harry?”

“I don’t see any reason why I should keep this from you, but yeah. I fell in love with Harry.”

“And how does Harry see this?”

“I don’t know. We never talked about it.”

“I think you need to.”

“I don’t think he’s in love with me, babe.” Zayn lifts his head from his boyfriend’s chest and sits beside him.

“You only think that but he might be, Zayn. Talk to him about it.”

“But he’s been helping me look for you. He can’t possibly be in love with me. No one in the right mind would do that.”

And Liam drops the argument and just smiles at him. He’ll have to talk to Louis about this because surely Harry must have told Louis something. Liam knows that he has to accept whatever news will fall upon him because all that matters is that he and Zayn are officially official. And nothing will stop Liam from keeping Zayn closer and closer- not even Harry. Liam moves closer tio Zayn and kisses him on the lips.

“I love you.” Liam whispers.

“I love you, Liam, forever. And always.” Zayn smiles on Liam’s lips before kissing him good night.


	6. Chapter Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis is driving himself crazy because he's all about Harry. Liam and Zayn are sweet as ever. Harry confesses to Zayn. Niall and Josh take the leap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is long as hell and I am satisfied with myself because this is the first time I have managed to write with more than 7k words. BE HAPPY FOR ME :D

Chapter Six

Liam and Zayn walk hand in hand in their entire trip from the room to Country Styles only to find Louis sleeping on one of the hotel lobby’s couches.

“The bastard. He’s making a scene.” Liam lets go of Zayn’s hand and marches up to his flatmate but Zayn pulls him.

“He’s exhausted.”

“How do you know?”

“Because I saw Harry sleeping on the bathroom floor and Harry never sleeps in the bathroom or on a cold floor and he’s done both. He’s exhausted.”

Liam takes a look at Louis and he does seem exhausted, he wonders how long Louis and Harry stayed up or if they even slept at all. “I’ll wait until he wakes up. You have to go see Harry.”

“But I want to stay with you.”

“Babe, even I don’t want to wake up alone and find myself having slept  on the bathroom floor and wonder why I am in such a place. And I’d kill Louis for not being with me in that exhausted state.”

“Harry wouldn’t mind.”

“Trust me. He would.” Liam kisses his boyfriend on the lips. “I’ll see you later.” Zayn nods and kisses Liam on the cheeks before heading back to the room. Liam takes a look at his best friend and sighs. Before sitting on the the couch he lifts Louis’s head so it would be resting on his lap.

After a few seconds Liam finally says,“I know you’re awake.”

“I know that you know. And I would never leave you alone on the cold floor of a bathroom, Li.”

“I know.”

“I don’t feel like working. I am exhausted.” And Louis sighs, Liam knows something is wrong and he’s pretty sure Louis will open up any minute now.

“But we have to pay rent.”

“Okay. Aren’t you going ask me how my date went with Harry?”

“You’d tell it to me anyway. So, what happened?”

“I made him eat the chili Mr. Collins makes.”

“REALLY? And?”

“He liked it.”

“A miracle.”

“Yeah. And there’s more,” Louis lifts his arms over his eyes to prepare himself from stopping his tears. Good enough, his voice doesn’t crack- not yet. “I was supposed to take Harry out clubbing and seduce him but that didn’t happen because we went to the local park. He shared his secret about ZARRY.” Louis swallows a lump and it makes his voice break away, ”And he is in love with Zayn, Liam.”

And it’s Liam’s turn to sigh heavily despite the fact that he’s known all along. “I know.”

“And it hurts because he doesn’t know me and I know a lot about Harry and now that he’s here, he actually knows me and a part of me. I thought something would spark. It did because I made myself think we would spark but we just didn’t, Liam. I’ll be chasing him in circles but he will never look back and stop to meet me halfway. Liam-“ Louis chokes on a second lump in his throat. His eyes, arm, and cheeks wet with tears. He feels Liam’s lips on his forehead. “And what’s more frustrating is that that was the perfect moment to tell him that I wanted to get to know him more. I was ready, Liam. I was ready to let him in, I was ready to face all consequences because I thought that there weren’t any complications.”

“He loves you, Louis. You’re hard not to love. And you made him eat the chili, which he loathes the most, and made him like it. Surely, he’s got a part of you in his heart somewhere.”

“Thank you. You’ve grown soft on me, Payne. Zayn isn’t such a bad guy afterall.”

“Harry loves you, Louis.”

“No he doesn’t, he’s got his knees down for Zayn.”

“He doesn’t have his knees down for Zayn, Louis. You’re being to melodramatic.”

“Liar.”

“Trust me on this one, Louis. My senses are spiking and they are never wrong.”

Louis sits up and looks at his best friend, eyes fresh with tears. “I don’t want to think about this anymore, Liam. I’m exhausted and I was happy without getting to know Harry and witness his smile personally. I was better with having to look at him from the internet and the TV. And what I didn’t know definitely didn’t hurt me. And I am thankful that you think that Styles has a bit of click for me and it’s flaterring but seeing how our situation is now, your senses may be a bit off.”

“Just trust me on this one, Lou. Harry may be slowing crawling into your atmosphere. And being the casual Louis you are, you’d let him in whole-heartedly. Now get your gear ready because we have to prepare to open the café.”

***

Zayn enters his room with thoughts of last night clouding his mind. He heads to the bathroom to find Harry still sleeping. “Haz.” And Harry instantly wakes up. He jolts up and hits his head on the sink. “AH SHIT! OUCH. Crap.”

“Whoa. Easy, Haz.”

“Crap. What am I doing here?”

“One plus one, Haz.”

“What?”

“Oh God. This is more serious than I thought. One plus one.”

“Two.”

“Okay. Good. I thought you’ve really forgotten why we’re in London or if you’ve gotten yourself a serious case of amnesia from hitting your head.”

“We’re in London for video shoot that won’t happen unless Management arrives and I do not have amnesia. Why am I in the bathroom?”

“You were exhausted from last night.” Zayn stands up and helps Harry stand up as well. They head to the bedroom and sit on the bed.

“Last night.” Harry runs his fingers through his hair as he recalls last night’s scenarios. Louis. Him forcing him to eat chili, which he found quite delicious. Louis and how breath-taking he looked under the moonlight. And how he told Louis that he was in love with Zayn. But he never understood that moment wherein Louis’s eyes ran out of light.

“Yeah. What happened to your get-together with Louis?”

“It was amazing. He made me eat chili.”

“REALLY? He’s an angel afterall. You should stick with him for often. Marry him even. I can’t even get you to eat chili and you’re my best friend!” But Zayn doesn’t take the ”marry him” bit back, he’s realized what he said and he knows how Harry would feel because he’s figured everything out.

“Marry him? Are you insane? Why would I marry him?” And Harry’s tone just proved Zayn’s point.

“Because he created a miracle. He’d do you good too.”

“No way. Not happening. He’s never seen me that way.”

“Haz, just because he doesn’t chase you around, pops up every minute for a good fuck, asks you for autographs, or asks you on a lifetime’s worth of date doesn’t mean that he doesn’t feel anything spark.”

And it hurts Harry because he knows what Zayn is trying to do, he’s trying to push Harry away- not physically but emotionally- because he figures since Liam has arrived and they’re together officially, and for good, Zayn wouldn’t have anything to do with Harry and Harry wouldn’t have to pretend that ZARRY is real. It hurts Harry even more because Zayn wouldn’t admit it, and Harry’s nerve pops, “What are you doing to me, Zayn? Don’t brainwash me.”

“Me? Brainwashing you? Why would I do that?”

“I don’t know.” How could Harry fall in love with someone he’s hardly met? And how come Zayn is so eager for Harry to fall in love with someone? Harry’s been clouded with the thought that Zayn doesn’t know that Harry has fallen in love with him. But Zayn must know- which he finally does. Harry gives up. He gives up because he doesn’t want Zayn to feel lonely and lose the light in eyes because the Zayn now is good. Zayn is back. Zayn is happy and Harry wants this. So Harry will hide this secret and sacrifice because he loves Zayn.

Harry may have to fall in love with someone else because Zayn will never love him back the way Harry does.

“Hey.” Zayn puts his hand on top of Harry’s, “You’re so far away, Haz. What’s wrong?”

Harry pulls another string. “What do you think about Louis?”

“What?”

“Just asking.” Harry might just have to fall in love with the person he least knows because it’s a start. He’s got to start falling in love with someone slowly and realize the best and worst parts of the person and whether he’d be rightful enough to able to fill a huge part of Harry that wasn’t really there. Harry has to try- for Zayn.

“I don’t really know Louis but my first impression of him? Uhm, he’s a fighter.”

“Okay.”

“Okay? What do you mean ‘okay’?”

“He’s a bully.” Harry shrugs.

“It’s called being persistent.”

If Harry would just talk about Louis more, would he be able to realize that Louis is the right one? Would Harry be able to notice or even wonder if Louis is a huge piece he’s been ignoring? Harry thinks that maybe Louis would be the person to fill the space. Zayn smiles, Zayn knows where this is going but he doesn’t say a word. He just smiles.

“I talked to Louis. As in, like, a heart to heart kind.”

“What about?”

“Us.”

“And?”

“Uhm, he didn’t seem excited, he looked sad.”

“Harry, I don’t know how a man could be possibly excited when the paps are broadcasting to the entire globe that we are homosexuals and have angry sex in clubs.” But Harry doesn’t reply, and Zayn takes a hint. “You must have offended him.”

“How did I offend him?”

“I don’t know. You have to figure that out for yourself, Haz.”

“He looked really upset, like he was about to cry.”

“Then it’s love.”

“Bullshit.”

“Harry, I love you. And I don’t want to see you get hurt. Maybe, just maybe, Louis has come around at the right time.”

Harry smiles but it doesn’t reach his eyes. He knows that there will never be a _ZaynandHarry_ , and it’s bringing Harry at the edge of tears but he has to deal with it. He looks at Zayn in the eyes and he will announce the words- the words that he’s put heart, soul, and meaning into it- and maybe, Harry is hoping, that Zayn would think everything through and realize that Harry has been here all along. “I love you too, Zayn.”

Zayn knows and he cannot play with Harry’s feelings any longer. Zayn sighs and kisses Harry on the forehead, “You know what I mean, Haz.” And Harry nods because he does- Harry knows that it’s over.

***

Josh and Niall finish their breakfast in Niall’s flat. “I really need to get back to the guys. We’ve been making love for two days.”

“With breaks.”

“With breaks and Harry needs his drummer back.”

“How long will you be in London?”

“Indefinitely.”

“Really?”

“Management’s not back and it’s possible it will takes quite a long time for them to come back.”

“Move in with me.”

Josh smiles and leans in to kiss Niall and breathe his scent of burnt flour and syrup. “Okay but I want to show you to the world first.”

“That will take a awfully long time, Josh.”

“I know. I’ll introduce you to the band first then you can introduce me to your friends.”

“Okay. Let’s start small.”

“We’ve been going out for two years, babe. And I don’t thinking telling them is something small. We’re taking a huge leap.”

“You think Liam and Zayn made up?”

“Yeah. They did.”

“C’mon. I want to broadcast you to my friends and about us. I love you, why should I hide it? Why do we need to wait when we can always express it now?”

“I love you too, Josh Devine.”

***

“Niall’s coming over.” Louis says an hour later as Liam’s shifting the sign from “Closed” to “Open”. Liam begins wiping the tables before the customers arrive.

“Yeah? It must be important.”

“It is. Says that he has something to tell us.”

“It must be really big and important.”

“Maybe he’s murdered someone.”

“LOUIS!”

“What? I’m keeping my options open.”

The door opens and Zayn’s the first to enter the café. Liam beams at his boyfriend and Louis rolls his eyes. Liam walks to Zayn and kisses him on the cheek. “Get a room, Liam James.” Louis looks beyond Zayn but Harry hasn’t entered yet. _I should stop waiting for him_ , Louis thinks. He sighs and heads back. Somone’s entered the café but Louis is too preoccupied with doing Stan’s job- making the dough for the bagles.

And he hears his familiar voice. “Louis’s not here?”

“He’s at the back.” Liam answers.

He’s been containing his excitement for too long that when he opened the pack of flour it “exploded” and Louis is now covered with flour together with his nearby surroundings. “LOU?” He heard Liam shout and footsteps running to his direction.

“Alive.” Louis coughs between syllables and places the plastic on the metal table.

“Aw , Lou! Look at this mess. Stan’s going to flip. And we’d have to open late.”

“Can you not talk about Stan flipping and help me get the flour off this expensive suit of mine?” Louis dusts off the flour off his head but it’s not Liam that acts first. It’s Harry. “WHAT? HARRY. No. Your clothes are more expensive than mine.”

“It’s just flour, Louis. It will wear off.” Harry gets his handkerchief and soaks it with water to help remove the flour as quickly as possible.

“I’ll go get the mop.” Zayn offers and he’s out the kitchen.

“Li, can you grab my spare suit in the locker?”

“You’ve got a spare?”

“Always prepared. Ow! My eyes, Harry.” And Louis swats away Harry’s hand from his face.

“What’s your code?” And Louis jerks inside because how on earth can his best friend forget his birthday? His code in every lock? Liam is planning something but he stays quiet.

“1224. My hair, Harry.” Liam cracks the code and gets Louis’s suit. As he turns to Louis, who has his eyes closed, he finds Harry smiling. And it makes Liam smile as well because the thought of Louis not being alone clouds him. Now that he and Zayn found each other, he’s been bothered with the thought that Louis has been lonely, and add oil to the flame the fact that Harry is still in love with Zayn.

“I’ll just leave it hanging, I’ll go find another mop.” And Liam is out- smiling.

“That’s a very unusual code.” Harry says once the kitchen door closes.

“Really? I think it’s the perfect kind of code. Easy to remember. I’m surprised that even Liam doesn’t know it.”

“Do you want me to remember it?”

And Louis lights up because Harry is moving closer into his world, he nods. “Yeah, that would be nice.”

“Is it of sentimental value?”

“No.”

“Do you want it to be?”

“No.”

“Why not?” Harry’s finished with tidying Louis up and reaches to get for his spare suit. As Louis opens his eyes, it doesn’t light. He smiles but the smile doesn’t reach his ears. He shrugs.

“I just don’t want to get attached to things.” But he leaves the _or people_ hang in the air. And Harry is silent. “And give me my suit, you might take it home and I don’t like people getting attached to my intoxicating aroma.” Louis shrugs off his tainted blazer and unbuttons his polo and casts it aside, and it hits him suddenly that Harry is in the same room. Heat crawls up to his cheeks and he takes a glance at Harry who is holding up his spare suit.

“What? Embarrassed that I’m here, Louis?”

“No. I’m just taking caution because you might tackle me.”

“What makes you say that?” Harry hands Louis the suit and watches as Louis puts it on.

But Louis says nothing, he just smiles. And Harry notices that it doesn’t reach his eyes and that there’s no light. Harry whispers, “Why were you crying?”

“What?”

“Your eyes.”

“What about my eyes? They’re gorgeous I know but-”

“Don’t go around in circles, Louis. I know when a person has cried. It’s so obvious in you, Louis. You’re an open book, just like Zayn.” _Zayn_. The name hits Louis like ice.

“I’ve been thinking about things- things I’ve said, things I’ve done, and things that I’ve been meaning to say and it just clouded, it disturbed my emotional being and it just exploded.”

“Is it my fault?”

And Louis jerks, eyes wide staring back at Harry’s. “No.” He lies but Louis has never been good at lying. And Harry is not buying it. “Okay, just let me lie for once because I have to. I can never directly offend someone just because it’s their fault that I’m upset, I mean I tell Liam bluntly but he’s Liam. Big factor. And I just- I don’t want to talk about it.”

“You can tell me, Louis, I wouldn’t jerk away.”

“I just can’t at the moment, Harry. I know you wouldn’t jerk away because you’d probably be moving away slowly.”

“But you don’t know that.”

“And I don’t want to find out, either. Let’s just leave it at this. I’m sorry for making you care about my crap, I’m fine. I‘ll be fine, I just… I just need distractions.”

Louis could feel the room getting hotter and he’s very uncomfortable about this, he wishes that Harry could take a hint to drop the topic and that there’d be another day to discuss this. Louis silently promises. But Harry’s persistent and Louis has to lie, he has to be convincing. “I’m fine, Harry. I just-“ But Louis can’t be convincing because what’s he supposed to do when the person he wants to be with the most has got someone else lurking in the core of his mind. Louis can’t concentrate properly, he can’t think properly. He needs support. “I need Liam.”

***

“Hey.” Zayn just got back with finding a mop and finds Liam leaning on the closed door of the kitchen- a goofy smile plastered on his face. “Why are you smiling like that?”

“Just listening to their conversation, but I couldn’t hear a thing anymore.”

“Whose?”

“Louis and Harry’s.”

“Oh. Are they done? I’m ready to clean the mess.”

“Don’t, Zayn. Let Louis do it.” Liam walks towards Zayn and kisses him on the cheek. And just as Zayn turns his head to make the kiss a little more intimate that’s when Harry opens the kitchen door. But before Harry could speak, Zayn’s got his lips pressed to Liam’s. And Liam knows that Harry’s watching, he knows that it breaks Harry’s heart but he wants to be selfish. He needs to be selfish at this point because he want Harry to know that Zayn is his and he is Zayn’s.

But to his surprise, Harry doesn’t run away. He waits until the kiss ends, that’s when he speaks. “Uhm.”

“Oh, Harry.” Zayn says with shades of red cast across his cheek.

“Uhm, Louis.” And the name’s enough to turn Liam’s head around. The tone of Harry adds to the drama because he knows something’s up. Louis is breaking. And Harry’s done something, but Liam is not the type to explode in the scene before analyzing the situation. Liam stays calm. He takes the mop from Zayn and ignores everything else around him. Before entering the kitchen, he looks at Harry.

Harry looks back at him.

“Don’t worry about him. He’s a fighter.” But that’s not enough to convince Harry that Louis _will_ be fine because it’s Harry’s fault. Harry’s done something that offended Louis, it hurt Louis, and it frustrates Harry because he doesn’t know what he said. And it frustrates Harry even more because Louis is lacking on details. And Harry couldn’t do anything so he nods.

Liam enters the kitchen and things are getting out of hand and Louis is much more dramatic than usual and he needs to get a grip. But when he finds Louis sitting on the metal table, hands on his face, and his body trembling, Liam takes back everything he’s said in his head. He’s never seen Louis this broken and upset.

He immediately drops the mop on the floor and runs to hug his best friend. He hates seeing Louis so fragile and lost. Louis has always been headstrong and stubborn and seeing him like this makes Liam hopeless and it makes him think that he sucks as a best friend. Just when Louis has calmed down and collected himself, Liam speaks. “Babe, if you don’t get a grip I’m taking you home and I will lock you inside your room and you are never seeing that curly bastard again. I will take away all internet privileges and we will live a life of fruit and vegetables.”

“I’m sorry.” Louis hugs Liam tighter and buries his face deeper into Liam’s chest.

“Don’t be. Love is a bitch.”

“I am not in love with him.”

“Yeah, says the man who’s been collecting Harry Styles’s photos since the day he came out on universal television.”

Louis releases himself from the hug and sighs heavily. “I’m not like this, Liam. I feel different. This is not healthy. I don’t like this side of me, I feel desperate. I feel like a clingy whore who’s not satisfied with just three rounds of sex in one night.”

“Not the best analogy but yeah. I hate seeing you so vulnerable, Louis.”

“I blame Harry. I blame that he actually existed, I blame that I found out about him. You should have just said no when I wanted to look for him that day.”

“Okay, that’s enough, Drama Queen. Niall’s coming over and we need to look presentable. And you have to get a grip, be strong. You’re a fighter and you need to be your old self again.”

“Thank you, Liam.”

“And Stan’s going to flip when he sees his kitchen.”

***

They don’t know how long it’s been since Liam went inside to calm Louis down and it’s driving Harry up the wall because the image of Liam and Zayn kissing is way too fresh. There’s that stab in his chest that he just can’t remove and it’s driving him crazy with questions and statements. But Zayn acts fast because he cannot take the awkward aura.

“You talked to Louis?”

“Yeah. Made him upset, classic me.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“Of course it’s not Zayn, it’s the flour’s fault for messing everything up.”

“Haz.”

Harry collapses on a chair and rests his elbow on the table with his fingers massaging the bridge of his nose. “Louis. Crap. He’s driving me mad now.”

Zayn takes the seat beside Harry and looks at his best friend. “You’re just thinking that. And it’s a lame excuse, Harry.”

“Okay. Fine. So it’s not basically all about Louis. I want to clarify about us. I don’t care if it’s the wrong place, wrong time, or it’s wrong to talk about it. Okay, Zayn. I love you. And I just need to let this go because my mind is all about you. I- I need you to know that I have been in love with you and I- I don’t think I can get over about us. Yeah, there’s Liam. Great guy, perfect for you, I know that and I just- I just wanted you to know that every time your faces lights up to his name or whenever you talk about him, I can’t help but think to myself when you’d look at me like that when I talk to you, Zayn. I can’t help but wonder when there will come a day wherein you’d _see_ me. But I know that won’t be happening. I just, I just love you. And don’t blame me because my heart just couldn’t help it.”

But Zayn doesn’t say anything.

“Don’t feel sorry for me, Zayn. I don’t want your sympathy. And don’t look at me like that, Zayn. My heart will explode.”

“I’m sorry, babe.” And that’s all Zayn could say because he doesn’t think twice when he gets up his seat and kisses Harry on the lips. Zayn doesn’t care how many people see this moment because this would be the last time the rumours would be all over the place. Everything will be put to rest and Harry’s heart will continue to beat for Zayn until he’s tired. Zayn will slowly detach himself from Harry’s heartstrings because someone else deserves Harry’s heart. Zayn is sure that whoever that person is, Harry will surely let that person crawl into his atmosphere, that person will definitely turn Harry’s world around, and Harry will hang onto that person because that person just may just be the angel who could show Harry a different perspective of the world. That person could be Harry’s bit of heaven on Earth. “I love you, Harry. And I’m sorry.”

“God, I told you to not say sorry. You’re stubborn.”

And Zayn laughs because he knows they’ll both be alright. “We’ll be alright, Haz. I promise.” Zayn sits back down and relaxes.

“What do I do about Louis?”

“I think Liam’s talked him down. He’ll be fine.”

“I-“ Louis and Liam come out of the kitchen and Liam’s got the mop on one hand.

“Did we take too long?” Liam asks.

“Not at all, Liam.” Zayn beams. And Harry sees Zayn’s face- all lit up and complete- and Louis sees how Harry looks at Zayn and how Harry’s heart aches when he sees Zayn genuinely happy. Louis sighs because he can’t compete, not now, not yet. But he’s got to be strong, Louis straightens his back and stretches. He can’t deal with this drama, he cannot mope around and feel all vulnerable. Louis has to start over, so he says, “Anyone up for something to eat?”

It’s taking too long for Niall to arrive and Louis is getting impatient. “He’s having sex.” Louis says while Liam takes a sip from his Coke.

“Not the right time to be discussing this, Louis.” Liam chokes.

“It’s the perfect time, that little leprechaun keeps us waiting for ages and I am getting impatient here. I need to know what he wants to say. I need to know. It’s been a while since I heard anything confidential from that little white boy and my brain needs to be fed with information about his life. He’s stalling. I bet he’s found someone.”

“Calm down, Louis.” Liam pats Louis on the shoulder.

“We need a day off, Liam. We need to go clubbing.”

“Not on Paul’s watch you aren’t!” Stan shouts from the kitchen and laughter roars.

“Very funny, Stan! I wasn’t talking to you!” Louis rolls his eyes.

“Hey, you two, shouldn’t you be working?” A co-waiter comes up to their table with a tray of drinks at hand.

“We borrowed them.” Zayn smiles and that’s enough to convince the intruder to leave them be.

“That was random.” Harry says.

“Because Stan’s only got the guts to tell us to work. That guy? Henry? He’s only back-up, like the rest of our buddies. I and Liam practically run this place! We’re in the good graces of Paul.” Louis nods and takes a sip from his drink.

“We should be working, Louis.”

“No, I am not working because I am tired and I am waiting for Niall.”

“HEY NIALL!” Stand calls.

“And that’s him right now.” Louis beams and stands up to check up on Niall. Louis runs to the entrance and is ready to suffocate Niall but he’s not doing that because Niall’s got himself preoccupied with holding hands with his companion.

“JOSH?” Louis hears Harry exclaim from behind him.

“Hey.” Niall says shyly. And Josh gives a wave.

“You little slut! You’ve brought in your man!” Louis exclaims, he wants to hug Niall but he can’t because there’s something keeping him in place. It must be how Niall’s companion has this protective aura around Niall. Zayn and Liam enter the scene and there are lots to say.

“He’s my boyfriend.” Niall says.

Louis and Liam figures.

“And you two?” Josh looks at Zayn and Liam.

They both nod and it’s driving Louis mad again because-

“CRAP. WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE INVOVLED IN UNREQUITED LOVE?” Louis screams.

***

“I know there are things to say.” The bunch secludes themselves in a function room of the restaurant, due to Louis’s temper and Paul has no choice but to abide by his request. Louis is tapping his fingers on the table and switches glances from Niall and Josh to Liam and Zayn. He eyes Niall first and Niall knows that he has to explain. Everything.

“Well, thank you for pointing it out, Niall, because I had no fucking idea that you have a boyfriend and that you two have been together since I don’t know when.” Louis is on bitch mode and Liam doesn’t stop him because Liam too is upset about Niall keeping it a secret. It’s not like the trio promised each other to spill every detail about their private life but this means big to them because it’s a change in their lifestyle and personality. Louis and Liam know that something’s changed in Niall but opt not to pry because they know that Niall will eventually tell them. It’s just that they didn’t expect Niall to keep it for a long time.

“Josh and I have been going out for two years. We met at a club.”

“How romantic, Niall. I am happy for you.” And Niall could hear the sarcasm in Louis’s tone but he doesn’t let his nerve break.

“I know you’re upset and-“

“Frustrated is the right word, Niall. So I’m guessing Josh knows about Liam and Zayn?”

“No.”

“No?” Louis, Zayn, and Liam say in unison.

“Uhm, we kind of let out the private parts of one another but I know that he’s the drummer of Harry and I know that he knows Zayn but then that’s it. And we’ve recently talked about Liam and Zayn a bit because I  couldn’t keep it to myself. And it turns out that Josh knows about them too.”

“So he knows about me too?” Louis asks.

“No. We left you out of it, Louis.”

“Glad to know I’ve got some privacy left. Hi, Josh. I’m Louis. Nice to meet you.” Louis stretches his hand for Josh to shake and he gladly takes it.

“So uhm, now that Zayn and Liam have settled down, is there something going on with you and Harry?” Niall asks.

“You Irish douche, nothing’s happening. And I am up for clubbing. Who’s with me?” Louis is already up and ready to hit the nearest club but Liam pulls him back down on his seat.

“It’s too early for that, Louis. Get a grip.”

“Liam, I have been holding myself at gunpoint for far too long and I need to detoxify myself.”

“I’m up for clubbing.” Josh says.

“Yeah, me too.” Nialls follows.

“Perfect! Chain reaction’s set! We’ll go clubbing after work. Right , Liam?”

“Yeah. Hey, Lou, can I talk to you for a sec?” Before Louis could answer, Liam’s already pulling him up his seat and dragging him outside the function room and into another vacant room.

“Liam, if we’re going to have sex here I prefer not to be-“

“What are you planning? What’s your game? You suddenly want to go clubbing.”

“Isn’t that how mates are supposed to hang out?”

“You know what I mean, Tomlinson.”

“Whoa. Touchy are we? I just want to release some energy, Liam.”

“This isn’t about you getting over Harry is it? Or the fact that you want to show Harry what he’ll be missing?”

“It’s all that jazz, Liam! I’m offended that you don’t know how I play this game.”

“I do know what you are playing, Louis, and I’m just worried for you.”

“Don’t worry, babe, I’ll be sober enough to walk home.”

“I hope so! I don’t want to have Zayn and Harry help me drag you into our flat!”

“You worry too much, Liam. You need to let go some of that anxious energy.”

“I’ve got one kidney!”

“Yeah and 80% of my heart has been stolen from a curly bastard who wouldn’t even return my feelings because he’s truly, madly, foolishly, deeply in love with my best friend’s boyfriend. Yeah, not big of problem like you do, babe. You function just damn fine.”

“You can get drunk, Louis.”

“Thank you. And don’t even bother helping me get home. I’ll find my way anyway, I always do.”

***

“Up Beat” is not Louis’s favorite club in town because the music is terrible but the drinks are to die for. “It’s all about the drinks!” Niall tells them as they choose a club to crash. They ended up in this club instead because it’s the nearest and it’s all Louis could think of with “all about the drinks” kind of atmosphere.

They get a table near the bar and Louis orders three tequilas the moment he’s got his arse settled on the table- yes, the table. He downs his first drink and it doesn’t give him the highs and he’s not seeing stars yet. He goes for his second and that’s when the alcohol sips in his veins. He could here Liam telling him to slow down but everything’s a slur so he ignores him. He’s at his third and Louis is ready to own the club. “I’m dancing.” And Liam doesn’t stop him.

The rest of his companions gawk at him wondering why he would just let Louis dance with his subconscious controlling him but Liam shrugs. “He’s old enough to figure out what to do. And he needs to release energy.”

“What if he gets laid.” Niall shouts above the music.

“I’m pretty sure that’s what he’s aiming for.”

And Harry’s had enough of Louis’s crap because he can’t just let Louis get laid like that, not when he’s drunk, not when Louis is unaware of his surroundings. And that’s enough to make Harry order a tequila and down it the second he receives it.

“You okay, Haz?” Zayn grips Harry by the arm.

“Perfect. Excuse me.” Harry is sober enough to realize how Zayn’s touch burns his arm but it doesn’t have the same sensation anymore because his attention has shifted to Louis. And how Louis is dancing with some random guy and how their bodies mold into one. And it drives Harry mad because how can Louis just let himself get so attached with a complete stranger who looks like his father.

Harry is sober enough to push himself through the throng of people and reach Louis. Harry is sober enough to pull Louis away from the man and press his body against Louis’s. Harry is sober enough to hear the man’s protests and Harry doesn’t care because it drove him up jealousy road to find Louis dancing with someone else. But Harry doesn’t know, he’s not sure if he’s thinking straight when he came up with that reason and he doesn’t care.

“Harrrrrreeeeh! You joined the party! I was just dancing with someone hot guy but it appears he’s gone somewhere.”

And Harry believes that Louis will not remember this when he shouts above the music, “I pulled you away.”

“Why?”

And Harry definitely believes that Louis is too drunk to remember this when he admits and shouts above the music, “Because I was jealous.”

And Harry doesn’t have to experience long seconds to wait for Louis’s reply because Louis does reply right away with, “NONSENSE! Let’s go have some fun.” And when Harry’s relaxing and letting the alcohol enter his veins, it’s when Louis waits a little bit until Harry’s drunk, and when Harry’s drunk and Louis’s gone fully sober (three glasses of tequila don’t make him drunk for long), it’s when he pulls Harry closer. Closer into a hug because Louis wishes, just for one moment that everything he’s heard were real. That that bit of emotion means that Harry is slowly letting Louis into his world. That Harry is giving Louis a little but of hope. And Louis clings onto that hope because he’s figured that he has fallen in love with Harry.

“They’re practically hugging.” Zayn tells Liam.

“That’s how Louis finds his fairytales come true. Hugging in a club, kissing in a club, getting laid in a club, he and Harry in a club. Dreams coming true for Louis.”

“You want to ditch this place?”

“I can’t leave Louis.”

“Harry’s with him and I’m pretty sure those two are capable of fending for themselves. Besides, Niall and Josh are probably having sex in the bathroom.”

“Maybe we too should get laid in the bathroom.”

“No. I am not doing it with you here. I am not showing your body anyone else.”

“Possessive now, are we?”

Zayn pulls Liam until their lips crash and Liam would be panting for air, giving access for Zayn and it would make Liam realize that he _needs_ to touch Zayn and explore every part of his boyfriend. Once Liam pulls away and his eyes speak unspoken words that’s when they both stand up and leave the club for the hotel.

Once Louis sees that Liam and Zayn have left, he wants to leave too but he can’t. Not yet. He needs to own the night because he’s not leaving this club sober. He will down a million drinks until he goes blackout and loses a kidney, he will get drunk and have sex with Harry in some corner of club and wake up to not remember a thing. But obviously, he doesn’t want to forget this moment with Harry because this maybe the closest space he’d ever get from Harry.

And when Louis drags Harry to one corner of the club he will make sure that Harry will sober down to remember the next leap Louis would do. Louis takes Harry’s hands and he’d intertwine their fingers, he would wait until Harry grips it tighter as a response, he would look into Harry’s eyes and memorize how his green orbs glow perfectly in the dim, and Louis would smile at Harry and hope that Harry would get a clue.

But Louis decides to wait.

Louis decides that there’s no need to to rush because it’s only been a few days since _their_ encounter. Louis will wait because he can manage it. He will let Harry pull him closer because it will only seem fair but what Louis doesn’t know is that Harry is also thinking the same thing. They will flirt, kiss, and lace their fingers for as many times as they want but there will be lines. There will be a line that would tell them about limits, there will be a line that will classify their relationship- friends with benefits maybe, and there will be a line that will show fantasies from reality.

When Harry doesn’t notice the music around them that’s when he realizes that he only sees Louis. How his eyes glow in the dark, how breath-taking he looks under the soft glow, how his fingers match perfectly to the spaces between Louis’s, and how Harry wishes, just for this moment, Louis would close the space between them and dissolve in a third space. Louis will look at Harry and think of the same thing but he, too, is waiting. They both wait but they don’t know upto what extent.

And when Harry sees Louis move his lips to speak, he won’t let Louis finish it. He moves closer and kisses Louis on the lips, signaling a pact, a promise, a sign that Harry is slowly letting Louis into his space. And when Louis slightly moves away to breathe, Harry will be selfish and hungry and move his hand behind Louis’s neck to deepen the kiss and he will tighten his grip of his fingers that lace around Louis’s. Harry can handle this. He can handle this relationship of more than friends but less than lovers. This will do for Harry at the moment because someone is still screaming Zayn in his head and Louis will never find out.

But Louis is not shallow, Louis is not gullible to notice that Harry still loves Zayn- not as much as before, but there’s still a hint that the feeling is still there. And it hurts Louis a little but he can tolerate it. When Harry deepens the kiss, all his thoughts about _HarryandZayn_ disappear because he’s now focused on the fact that Harry is pulling him into his space. Louis will flirt and kiss Harry as many times as he wants because he can, no huge limit in their way. And Louis will continue playing this game because he wants Harry. Harry drives him mad. Harry gets him confused. Harry. Harry. It’s all about Harry. And it will be all about Harry until Louis gives up, until Louis finds someone else, until Louis is tired. Louis tightens the grip as well, not because Harry’s done it, but because Louis wants Harry to know that Louis is waiting, that Louis is ready to close the gap in Harry’s heart.

When Louis slowly pulls away for the second time, Harry doesn’t pull him nearer instead they meet each other’s eyes and leave words hanging in the air. And Louis cannot be sober right now, he needs to drink more because this situation is getting out of hand. Louis might not be able to control himself when he sees a Harry so vulnerable and silent. But he does.

“Want to run away from here?”

Harry pulls Louis nearer for the last time in this club and gives him a quick but slow kiss on the lips. As he slowly moves away, he nods. And Louis is up and holding Harry’s hand as they push themselves out of the throng of people. Once out, Louis and Harry will go straight to the local park and just sit there until daylight, fingers laced, and Harry would look at Louis once in a while and Louis will look back at him. They would stay silent until midnight unless one of the starts. And this time, it’s Harry who does.

“I talked to Zayn.”

Louis slowly looks at his companion’s direction and inhales slowly. Louis is ready to talk about this. He has to be ready otherwise the feeling on insecurity will always linger under his skin. “What about?”

“I told him I was in love with him.”

“How did he take it?”

“It’s over. He indirectly said it, but it was written everywhere. It’s over.”

“We don’t have to talk about this, Harry.”

“But I want to. You need to know. I want us to be honest with each other.”

“Okay.”

Louis smiles because may be, just maybe, Harry has already pulled Louis into his world. And Louis hopes that he would be permanently a part of it.


End file.
